AMBIVALENCE TOWARDS THE BRUSH FIRE (feat. Logan Alexander)

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Kole Xidas

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Livin' my life
I could just sigh, look at my eyes
Nothin' inside
Except the remains of a mind
Think I might faint if this goes on longer
Think I might faint if this goes on longer
Who am I now if I didn't get stronger?
Think I might faint if this goes on longer
As I listen to the flames I knew
I should be feelin' shame or rue
Breathe in different shades of blue
Who's to fuckin' blame? Not you
Askin' who set fire to the bayou
As you drown me right beside you
But whenever I try to write you
I can only seem to lie truths
Send me outsidе
Let me sit on the rainbow porch
Takе a torch light up my skin
I can promise I'd be a good sport
All my days are borin', or they're overwhelmin'
See the sky in grayscale
Life is jail, but I won't pay bail
'Cause I still wanna spin that pitiful tale
See the life that I'm livin' and I'm bitin' my lip
'Til I'm rippin' my skin 'cause I know I'd be happier broken
Gonna take a pic to remember the lows
'Cause you never learn a lesson if you don't take blows
I'm chokin' for fun, 'cause I laugh
When I'm meant to be runnin' to the hills
The tension can't build if I act relaxed
So I'll slack off until you back off, f*ck
Shades of blue, nothin' but a system of pain
I'll drink a portion of the poison and I'll sit in the rain
There's still a lot of bad shit I don't know how to explain
So I'll stay in these cold clothes with this ice in my brain, ugh!
Never let it freeze, but I gotta keep it cold
Keep the history to me 'cause I'm the only one involved
Losin' focus as I fall, now he's all grown up
And the problems that he never had all showed up
Denial sows the cheapest seed
See the ashes of the past
I burned are hidin' under leaves
Cut the tension, watch it bleed
Denial sows the cheapest seed
See the ashes of the past
I burned are hidin' under leaves
Cut the tension, watch it bleed
As I listen to the flames I knew
I should be feelin' shame or rue
Breathe in different shades of blue
Who's to fuckin' blame? Not you
Askin' who set fire to the bayou
As you drown me right beside you
But whenever I try to write you
I can only seem to lie truths
As I listen to the flames I knew
I should be feelin' shame or rue
Breathe in different shades of blue
Who's to fuckin' blame? Not you
Askin' who set fire to the bayou
As you drown me right beside you
But whenever I try to write you
I can only seem to lie truths
It's my default settings to be trampled over
The time moves slow, but my heart beats slower
Put all my effort into my composure
Just hopin' I can get a hint of closure
But now, here I'm drownin' again
Come back to you every now and then
The flames bite my skin, but they aren't sharp as you
It feels like the end, but I'm not scarred as you
I'm a mess
That ain't ever tryna clean up
I confess
That I would never try to fuckin' speak up
So I guess it's my fault, huh?
So I guess it's my fault, huh?
Water fills my lungs, but I should have spoke
But I left the vault door shut, f*ck!
Uh, tired of the blue waters
I'll take whatever deal from anyone who offers
At this point, I'm desperate, just want this to end
But the fires still blaze on and I won't pretend
That I got a bright future ahead of me
I know I'll f*ck it up, I'm my own worst enemy
Stop threatenin' me with a good time
My reckonin' breakin' through the frostbite
Sorry, babe, looks like I've done it again
I've opened my mouth and now I'm condemned
Fill my lungs with the freezing cold
'Cause I'm not easily controlled
Hold your wound, but it's not that simple
Old bruise still on your dimple
The flames still rage on, refusin' to dwindle
But we can't rekindle our love
As I listen to the flames I knew
I should be feelin' shame or rue
Breathe in different shades of blue
Who's to fuckin' blame? Not you
Askin' who set fire to the bayou
As you drown me right beside you
But whenever I try to write you
I can only seem to lie truths
As I listen to the flames I knew
I should be feelin' shame or rue
Breathe in different shades of blue
Who's to fuckin' blame? Not you
Askin' who set fire to the bayou
As you drown me right beside you
But whenever I try to write you
I can only seem to lie truths

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