Good Ship Venus

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Ron and the Rude Boys

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'Twas on the good ship Venus, 
My God you should have seen us,
The figure-head was a whore in bed, 
And the mast was a rampant penis.

 Chorus
 Frigging in the rigging, tossing on the crossing,
 Wanking on the planking, 
 There was f*ck all else to do.

The captain's name was Slugger, he was a dirty bugger,
He wasn't fit to shovel shit, from one place to another.     
 Chorus

The first mate's name was Cooper, 
By Christ he was a trooper,
He jerked and jerked until he worked, himself into a stupor.
 Chorus

The second mate's name was Andy, 
His balls were long and bandy,
They filled his arse with molten brass
For coming in the brandy.
 Chorus

The Bo'sun's name was Lester, 
He was a fanny tester,
Through hymens thick he shoved his prick,
And left it there to fester.
 Chorus

A homo was the Purser, 
He couldn't have been much worser,
With all the crew he had a screw, until they yelled,           
"Oh no sir!".
 Chorus

The captain's randy daughter, 
Was swimming in the water,
Delighted squeals revealed that eels, 
Had found her sexual quarter.
 Chorus

The ship's dog's name was Rover, 
The whole crew did him over,
They ground and ground that faithful hound, 
From Singapore to Dover.
 Chorus

The end of this narration, 
Came in jubilation,
For they sunk the junk in a sea of spunk, 
Caused by masturbation.
 Chorus

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