Nice Peter Vs EpicLLOYD II

Epic Rap Battles of History

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[Epic LLOYD]
Hey, can you put that little, uh, thing back down in there? No, no, no, the one below it.
[Nice Peter]
You're just a little up in my face right now.
[Epic LLOYD]
Oh, I'm sorry. Am I being annoying? 'Cause you said we'd be done at 10, and it's 4 in the morning.
[Nice Peter]
Look, I don't know how to say this. You know what, f*ck it. Let me just fucking say it.
I'm fucking burnt out, man! It's been six years every day
That I wake up and come to work to look at your hungover face
I need some personal space to get away from your screaming
But every time I turn my back, motherfucker, you start scheming
To take over control of some shit I'm already doing just fine
We'd have more subs than PewDiePie if you didn't fight me every time
I try to take our little baby in a creative direction
I'm trying to make art, mother fucker; you're trying to find a rhyme for erection
I'm sorry, man! No, I'm fucking not! F*ck you
You're second class! That's why I let you run ERB2
You're so afraid to lose, but losing's all you do
And tonight, I'm not quitting the battles! Bitch, I'm quitting you!
[Epic LLOYD]
Quit me then, you pussy! We'll see what happens
I'll sit back and watch you unravel and revel in pure satisfaction
I'm out of compassion for you and your self-righteous bullshit
Erection jokes, dude? Your whole name means dick
I'm sick of smoothing things out! The same routine
ERB2 is right! I'm covering your ass behind the scenes
And then I try to tell you things, but you're too stubborn to understand
Like, dude, that is not a cool way to play Batman
You manipulate your friends, and then you throw them away
I don't know who you shit on worse, myself or Dante
But I'm not an entrée at one of your fancy restaurants
So quit eating up my time picking one of your fancy fonts
And make a fucking decision so all these people can leave
Excuse me for interrupting Rocket League and smoking weed
They got places to be, and now they're looking at me
Nice Diva is my new name for you, Nice Pete!
[Nice Peter]
And doink! Nice punchline, bro
Your jokes haven't grown since you told them in a lunch line, bro
You're an eight-year-old boy stuck inside a whatever-year-old man
"Argh! Look at me! I'm EpicLLOYD! Check me out!
I can rap about my problems instead of solving them!"
If you wanna heal, you gotta deal with your issues
'Cause a bottle's not stopping them!
[Epic LLOYD]
Don't take this battle there, dude. You don't want that at all
Let me guess: right now you're on two beers and a pill and a half of Adderall
And that makes you obsessive, and then you f*ck up all the fun
So why don't you trust the editors and stop changing their shit after they're done?
[Nice Peter]
Yo, don't try to paint me as some compulsive little jerk
If you weren't so cheap, we could hire some editors that do good work
Who do you think just — Oh, that's real funny, Andrew!
[Epic LLOYD]
Aww, c'mon! Now what the f*ck did I do?
"Allrounda Beats"
[Epic LLOYD]
[Nice Peter]
Who the f*ck left the tag in?
[Epic LLOYD]
[Nice Peter]
[Epic LLOYD]
[Nice Peter]
[Epic LLOYD]
Hey, Allrounda. Can you put the—
Yeah, and the little, uh, nice.
[Nice Peter]
We cool, guys?
[The ERB Crew]
Yeah. I guess so.
Okay, I've got the card. Did you dump it?
Get your mark. Quiet, please! Here we go!
And action!

[At the same Time]
[Nice Peter]
Yo, I guess what I'm saying, man, is that I'm running out of patience, man
I'm a patient man, but sometimes you need to be a patient, man
I got the same shit that I was dealing with at the very beginning
I'm trying to get somewhere with it, man
But all your bitching is keeping my wheels spinning!
[Epic LLOYD]
I've fought with my wife and gone under the knife
And I've taken years off of the back of my life
Man, since right in the beginning we been fighting! No one's winning
People would kill to do what we do for a living!
Your bitching is keeping my wheels spinning!
[Back to Normal]
[Nice Peter]
That was weird.
[Epic LLOYD]
[Nice Peter]
I'm sorry about some of the things that I said.
[Epic LLOYD]
I'm sorry about the way you played Batman.
[Nice Peter]
I think I just need a break.
[Epic LLOYD]
Yeah, me too.
[Nice Peter]
You wanna write a song?
[Epic LLOYD]
Yeah, dude!

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Submitted on October 21, 2021

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    "Nice Peter Vs EpicLLOYD II Lyrics." STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 28 Jan. 2022. <>.

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