Sincerely, Me

Dear Evan Hansen, We've been way too out of touch. Things have been crazy, and it sucks that we don't talk that much. But I should tell you that I think of you each night. I rub my nipples, and start moaning with delight!-- Why would you right that?! I'm just trying to tell the truth! This needs to be perfect! These E-mails have to prove that we were actually friends! Just... I'll do it. I've gotta tell you life without you has been hard. Hard? Has been bad. Bad? Has been rough! Kinky! ...And I miss talking about life and... other stuff. Very specific.-- Shut up! I like my parents,-- Who says that? I love my parents but each day's another fight. If I stop smoking drugs, then everything might be alright.- Smoking... drugs? Just fix it! If I stop smoking crack-- Crack? If I stop smoking pot, then everything might be alright! I'll take your advice, I'll try to be more nice. I'll turn it around, wait and see! 'Cause all that it takes is a little Re-in-ven-tion! It's easy to change, if you give it your At-ten-tion! All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you wanna be. Sincerely, Me. Are we done yet? I can't just give them one E-mail! I wanna show them I was a good friend, you know? Oh my god! Dear Conner Murphy, Yes, I also miss our talks. Stop doing drugs, just try to take deep breaths and go on walks. (No.) I'm sending pictures of the most amazing trees (No!) You'll be obsessed with all my forest expertise. Ha, absolutely not! Dude, I'm proud of you. Just keep pushing through. You're turning around, I can see! (Just wait and see!) 'Cause all that it takes is a little Re-in-ven-tion! It's easy to change if you give it your at-ten-tion! All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you wanna be. Sincerely, Me.- My sister's hot! What the hell? My bad. Dear Evan Hansen, Thanks for every note you send. Dear Conner Murphy, I'm just glad to be your friend. Our friendship goes beyond you average kind of bond! But not because we're gay! No, not because we're gay! We're close, but not that way. The only man that I love is my dad. Well anyway! (But anyway!) We're getting better every day! Keep getting better every day! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 'Cause all that it takes is a little re-in-ven-tion! It's easy to change if you give it your at-ten-tion! All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you wanna be! Sincerely, Miss you dearly! Sincerely, me! Sincerely, Me. Sincerely, Me! Sincerely, Me!