Song parody of

If I Loved You [From Carousel]

by John Raitt

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But somehow I can see Just exactly how I'd be If I loved you, Time and again I would try to say All I'd want you to know. If I loved you, Words wouldn't come in an easy way Round in circles I'd go! Longin' to tell you, But afraid and shy, I'd let my golden chances pass me by! Soon you'd leave me, Off you would go in the mist of day, Never, never to know how I loved you If I loved you. Well, anyway, you mean you don't love me. That's what you said, isn't it? Yes! I can smell 'em, can you, ah? The blossoms. The wind brings 'em down! Billy there ain't much wind tonight Hardly any. You can't hear a sound, not the turn of a leaf Nor the fall of a wave hittin' the sand. The tide's creepin' up on the beach like a thief, Afraid to be caught stealin' the land! On a night like this I start to wonder What life is all about. And I always say two heads are better than one to figure it out. I don't need you, I don't need anybody helpin' me. Well, I got it figured out for myself. We're not important. What are we? A couple o' specks with nothin' Look up there There's a hell of a lotta stars in the sky, And the sky's so big the sea looks small, And two little people, you and I We don't count at all. You're a funny kid, you know? I don't remember meetin' a girl like you. Hey, you're tryin' to get me to marry you? No! Then what's puttin' into my head, babe? You're diff'rent, alright! I know what it is... You have doped me with that little kid's face, right? You've adjusted me! I wonder what it'd be like What? Nothin'. No, I know what it'd be like. It'd be awful! I can just see myself- Kinda scrawny, and pale Picking at my food, And love-sick like any other guy. I'd throw away my sweater, and dress up like a dude In a dicky and a collar and a tie. If I loved you. But you don't! No, I don't! But somehow I can see Just exactly how I'd be If I loved you, Time and again I would try to say All I'd want you to know. If I loved you, Words wouldn't come in an easy way Round in circles I'd go! Longin' to tell you, But afraid and shy I'd let my golden chances pass me by! Soon you'd leave me, Off you would go in the mist of day, Never, never to know How I loved you If I loved you. Aha I'm not the kinda fella to marry anybody! No, even if a girl was foolish enough to want me to, I wouldn't! Julie Don't worry about it, Billy! Billy Who's worried? Julie You were right about there bein' no wind. The blossoms are comin' down by theirselves. Just they're in time to, I reckon.

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If I Loved You [From Carousel]

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"I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but ______________"
A Heaven knows I'm missing him now
B Heaven knows I'm managing now
C Heaven knows I'm moving on now
D Heaven knows I'm miserable now

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