Arose

If I could rewind time like a tape Inside a boombox, one day for every pill or percocet that I ate Cut down on the valium, I'd've heard everything But death is tuning so definite, wait They got me all hooked up to some machine I love you bean, didn't want you to know I was struggling Feels like I'm underwater submerged like a submarine Just heard that nurse say, my liver and kidneys are fucntioning Been flirtatious with death, skirt-chasing I guess It's arrivederce, same nurse just heard say they're unplugging me And it's your birthday Jade, I'm missing your birthday Baby girl I'm sorry, I fuckin' hate when you hurt, Hay And sweeties, thank you for waiting to open gifts But girls you can just open 'em, dad ain't makin' it home for christmas Wish I had the strength to just blow a kiss I go to make a fist but I can't make one, I'm frozen stiff I yell but nothing comes out, I'm crying, inside I shout My vocal chords won't permit me, I scream but it's now aloud You put your arm around momma, the karma, wow I just though about the aisle I'll never get to walk you's down Never see you graduate in your caps and gowns It's 'bout to be 2008, how's this happenin' now? I got so much more to do And proof I'm truly sorry if I let you down, but this tore me in two The thought of no more me and you, You gave me shoes, Nikes like new, for me for school Doody, I'm trying but you, you were the glue that binded So many things, time, I'd give anything to rewind it I had to walk down my halls and constantly be reminded By pictures all on my walls and I couldn't sleep at night 'cause That image burnin' my brain of you on that table, Me falling across your body not able to stand to save you God, why did you take him? I'm trying to keep his legacy alive but I'm dying, where's Nathan? Little ladies be brave, take care of your mother Smile pretty for pictures, always cherish each other I'll always love ya, and I'll be in the back of your memory And I know you'll never forget me just dont get sad when remembering And little bro, keep making me proud You better marry that girl 'cause she's faithfully down And when you're exchanging those sacred vows Just know that if I could be there I would And should you ever see partenthood I know you'll be good at it Oh, almost forgot to do something, thank my father too I actually learned a lot from you, you taught me what not to do And mom, wish I'd've had the chance to have one last heart-to heart honest and open talk with you Duty, I see you, I got to walk to you And I can feel my soul leave my body and float across the room Nurses lean over the bed, pulling tubes out Then the sheet over my head, shut the room down Girls, please don't get upset, I see them cheeks soaking and wet As you squeeze, holdin' my neck, forcibly don't wanna let Me go, pillow drenched, emotional wrecks With every second, each closer to death But suddenly I feel my heart begin to beat slow, then a breath Machines go, must've guessed the cheat codes to this shit I'm tryna rewind time like a tape, find an escape Make a beeline, trying to wake From this dream I need to refine My inner strength, to remind me Even if a steep climb I must take, to rewrite a mistake I'm rewinding the tape Want it, I'll put out this last album then I'm done with it One hundred percent finished fed up with it, I'm hanging it up Fuck it! Excuse the cursing, baby, but just know That I'm a good person, though they portray me as cold And if things should worsen, but I'll betcha they won't I'm pledging to throw this methadone in the toilet Shred these old letters I wrote on that old pathetic loathing Closing credits can roll I'm proud to be back I'm 'bout to, like a rematch Outdo Relapse with Recovery, Mathers LP two Helped propel me to Victory laps Gas toward 'em and fast forward the past Considered a mass foreman in fact This song I'd've sang to my daughter If I'd've made it to to hospital in less than two hours later But I fought it, came back like a boomerang on 'em Now a new day is dawning I'm up, Tuesday, it's morning Now I know