Song parody of

Cheesy Rat Blues

by LL Cool J

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Nothin' can save ya Nothin' can save ya Nothin' can save ya Nothin' Just throw your hands in the air And wave 'em like you just don't care Keep 'em there Yo, run the jewels, run the jewels, run the jewels Can you feel it? I used to be rollin' like a millionaire Cash in a flash, bankroll to spare Homeboys hangin', champagne and girls Got my main woman diamonds, my mistress pearls Everybody laughin' at my corny jokes I was stupid, I thought that they were sincere folks It turned out they liked the money and the fame If I ain't get paid, I'd be that nobody James The nobody who dreamed about bein' somebody Chief rocker at the party And they was hangin' like, "Yo, I'm your man I don't even care about the ring on your hand" We'd go out to eat and chill But they would go to the bathroom When it was time to pay the bill I didn't notice all the chuckles and laughter Too busy with a female, tellin' me I'm the master I was slick like, "Huh, do I know you? I got play, here, let me show ya" Used to have a girl that was on the ball When the cash flow got low, so did her calls Used to have a homeboy, always chillin' My cash went low; he told me I was illin' And don't call 'cause he don't hang with derelicts Broke with no cash, yo; I was in the mix Everybody stepped 'cause my pocket wasn't fat My girl got a new man; I fixed his flat I'm the one that they're laughin' at They say, "Cheesy rat, you ain't all that" [Chorus] Can you feel it? Can you feel it? Can you feel it? Can you feel it? Nothin' can save ya I mean crabbin', played out by backstabbin'; I feel like tyin' A anchor to my ankle and jumpin' right in the ocean Cause I'm ashy, and I can't afford lotion So-called friends in the jewelry store Told me, "Todd, come back when you get off tour" Souped as hell; I really regret it Now the only thing I got in my pocket is bad credit How can a man like me Be walkin' around in a world of misery? And if women like a man with a body, it's not mine Cause they be walkin' past me like I'm a stop sign My homeboys laugh when they pass the forty Sayin, "Todd, as if he used to have a sporty" The Benz was slammin', the Jeep was pumpin' Ain't that somethin'? I just laugh; this isn't what I was raised for When I walk away, it's like ain't this a Kick in the rear that I'm standin' here And can't afford a tissue for my tear Should I drink wine and brandy Or get a job puttin' stripes on candy Or put a hole in donuts? Cause when you're broke, your middle name is "so-what?" I had to learn in an incredibly fast way When you ain't got no money, they treat you like an ashtray I pawned all my jewelry and clothes Right after that, I got dissed by all the hos That I thought was mine but really never was Soon the whole neighborhood got the buzz That my tank was on "E", and that means empty That Twinkie looks good, so mister don't tempt me Everybody thought I was trippin' I rode the back of the bus, but my grip kept on slippin' I'm the man that they're laughin' at They say, "Cheesy rat, you ain't all that" [Chorus] I want to hang with my man like, "Let's do this" But this man like, "Who this?" That's right, the brother got two faces They got me puttin' the tips on shoelaces P on the Puma, a mop and a bucket My motto is: I don't care I don't give a damn; so what, why try? I might as well rob some Blake Carrington sucker for his money It's so funny Cars ride by, with the boomin' system Sayin, "Leave him alone, my man already dissed him" Now I'm on the cheese-line, poverty-stricken As the red tape thickens I go to the park; they want to baseball-bat me I go to the mall; they throw my old tapes at me I'm so horny And every girl I know be like, "He's so corny" I want money in a hurry I'm gettin' tired of leftover curry I want to fall off, but I don't know where the edge is I'm so hungry, I eat my neighbor's hedges Now I realize I gotta go for mine It's windshield time I take quarters, pennies, dimes, and nickles And a kiddy's tricycle I'm a desperado "I'm a steal your rims" is my motto I watch wrestlin' until I'm dizzy sore So if you're cashin' your rent check, know how to get busy Go to the drive-through, run with a milkshake Go to the supermarket, pocket a raw steak I need beer I'm a catch the Miller truck out there You know how they throw the newspapers in the morning? The owner don't want 'em I'm the man that they're laughin' at They say, "Cheesy rat, you ain't all that." [Chorus] So yo, one more time, one more time Party people in the house tonight Just throw your hands in the air And wave 'em like you just don't care Keep 'em there Run the jewels, run the jewels, run the jewels

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Cheesy Rat Blues

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