Vision (feat. Hektic420)

I told them niggas keep they eyes on me Lotta love disguised as hate they tried to hide from me I ain't get to say goodbye ran outta time on me Been so caught up in the mix I lost my mind on me And I been thinking about the way we was living My momma drinking while we facing eviction I got my cousin on the calls while he chillin in prison Money on his books what I gotta get him for Christmas No visitations in a minute been on the road tryna get it Gifts I got for Christmas I'm at the pawn shop tryna flip em Everybody who gotta opinions never lived my conditions I had them Roaches on the ceilings CPS at my building Ain't smiled or cried in a minute I been numb to the feelings I was dying how I'm living tryna get me a million Opportunities never came No sunshine only rain Talking the sky hopeless wishes for a change Every chance was getting high was never sober through the pain I had this Nina on my side I got accustomed to the game Cuz if my cousin wasn't clutching then I'd prolly write his name Across the sky So many battles we done fought I'm asking why Cuz you ain't been through what I been through Gotta hustle cuz the rent due So many times I ain't get to say goodbye before they left you Promises that fell through Lies they try to sell you Problems you just hide inside your mind n kill ya mental Crying out for help but wasn't no help they every sent you So now every time you writing so much pain into this pencil Cuz you said you was gon get it with everything that's stacked against you So you keep that shit in mind every time you gotta vent to Starving and freezing watching the ceiling for hours them niggas cut off the power taking cold ass showers My soul these demons devoured Graves littered with flowers My best friend killed herself that shit put courage in a coward Trauma throughout adolescence Birthdays were unpleasant No I don't want no presents Just my friend back from heaven Attempted murder on me before the age eleven You'd think i'd be closer to god My grandpa was a reverend They assume i'm straight but never ask me Slow death on my plate served by a banshee Everything is not okay not fine and dandy Eyes on everything but losing you was the last thing I ever wanted Dressed in all black miserable at your ceremony Why the only one I cared about they had to take from me Everyday i'm missing you I just hope you pray for me Everyday i'm missing you I just hope you pray for me Cuz you ain't been through what I been through Gotta hustle cuz the rent due So many times I ain't get to say goodbye before they left you Promises that fell through Lies they try to tell you Problems you just hide inside your mind n kill ya mental Crying out for help but wasn't no help they every sent you So now every time you writing so much pain into this pencil Cuz you said you was gon get it with everything that's stacked against you So you keep that shit in mind every time you gotta vent to Never had no shit to lose I never moved wit a mission My momma crib ain't have no food ain't follow rules had to get it I done see my best friends lose they soul to the system So many times I lost hope I was so sick of wishing My homies frozen getting older in the coldest of prison So many years I wasn't sober focus lost by the minute I was chosen as a solider made me the toughest of niggas Blindfolded I was hopeless but I still got the vision My Eyes closed n I was focused tryna change my position Cuz I was holding onto woes n broken hope intermixing Many scars I never show em never noticed me tripping Many sins I know I'll never be forgiven I talk to god n I know that he don't listen Cuz I only come to him every time a nigga slippin Fallen can't get up So When I'm tripping can you call me when I can't pick up I had the vision n when I saw it said I can't slip up