bildungsroman

When I, when I When I, nuh-nuh-nuh Uh Bildungsroman, color in the print head Story of the danger Story of the nostalgia and my revelations Story tells confection of confusion and distraction Originally my verse was deeper, darker and way sadder Originally I let my blood let like Akudama twins Tortured words, nevermind, not how I get to Nirvana Although it's a therapeutic piece, felt it served its purpose My guitar crying on the projects why I said I'm tired Courteous scripts, novel concept, rocky road but not appalling Pics never describe the blood I put my hands in But the blood does not describe the joy I found my living trance in As I grew, I knew my light was found then learned it wasn't, really As I grew, my light kept getting brighter, jolts of joules flew freely into sparks Then into more descriptions, then I learned the process, I learned the process Okay Took me 19, Should've known by 15 Know I'm somewhere on screen, somewhere on the color wavelengths Somewhere on the level, don't know what to tell you Somewhere in the chamber of reflection staring deadly On the drive, I see the first track made me wanna get it It hit me twice, I bought the crown on credit, I still wear it Somewhere on the spectrum, I don't understand it I need the flowers or my bombs gonna be more than cherry Uh I stressed out, way too many times I overthought about Whether love I gave to people really counted in their eyes Whether words were really heard and not just passed off as a five And whether they would really care about me Sergeant made me think, reconnect with fancies Abbey showed a different light, praying that Addie don't stress about the cover I got told my problems, ego size of Texas, bold But I knew This is proof that separate paths go on, not always peaceful though To be at fault, coming back to peace with it What a story I've recited it before, no more, glory to the souls Nine-fold, everyone I've known is up on top Love myself, but know abstraction is what makes me go forth It's peace and love I trust you know It's peace and love Writing my memories on the page Uh The day trans people don't get put in a cage And the day I can be whoever I am in my space The day the box don't define how you can find your Genesis And the day the green wall don't define my experiences I'm ready to be confident, and open, and determined And a color cannot put me in a palette or a painting I'm blue sometimes, I'm red sometimes, I'm none Sometimes I'm all, when I can't define which I mixed up And sometimes I doubt if my choice of medium is the one Maybe if I drew instead, I'd be successful and not stuck Maybe if I drew on pen, I'd fit right in with everybody If my lines were just okay, would they appreciate my story? If I did the inspiration justice, will they sing about me too And if I went phantom would you text sayin' you missed me too? I don't care about the party, I came full circle so my circle is what matters And if I count my friends on one hand, I'll make it past this You know that's what they say, always better safe than sorry, I'm free It's like, my bildungsroman Freedom, freedom, my bildungsroman Every memory is written on the paper Every memory is written on the paper Even if I doubt my skill, I guess I always kick back eventually And when I doubt my skill, I feel a flame burning and giving will Mm, Nana, nana Dana nana, nana, nana I feel a flame I feel a flame burning and giving will Will