Song parody of
Cousin Kevin
by London Symphony Orchestra
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We're on our own, cousin,
All alone, cousin.
Let's think of a game to play
Now the grown-ups have all gone away.
You won't be much fun
Being blind, deaf and dumb.
But I've no-one to play with today.
Do you know how to play hide-and-seek?
To find me it would take you a week,
But tied to that chair
You won't go anywhere
There's a lot I can do with a freak.
How would you feel if I
Turned on the bath,
Ducked your head under
And started to laugh?
What would you do if I shut you outside,
To stand in the rain
And catch cold so you died?
I'm the school bully!
The classroom cheat.
The nasty play friend
You ever could meet.
I'll stick pins in your fingers
And tread on your feet...
Maybe a cigarette burn on your arm
Would change your expression
To one of alarm.
I'll drag you round by a lock of your hair
Or give you a push
At the top of the stairs...
I'm the school bully!
The classroom cheat.
The nasty play friend
You ever could meet.
I'll put glass in your dinner
And spikes in your seat...
We're on our own, cousin,
All alone, cousin.
Let's think of a game to play
Now the grown-ups have all gone away.
You won't be much fun
Being blind, deaf and dumb.
But I've no-one to play with today.
Do you know how to play hide-and-seek?
To find me it would take you a week,
But tied to that chair
You won't go anywhere
There's a lot I can do with a freak.
How would you feel if I
Turned on the bath,
Ducked your head under
And started to laugh?
What would you do if I shut you outside,
To stand in the rain
And catch cold so you died?
I'm the school bully!
The classroom cheat.
The nasty play friend
You ever could meet.
I'll stick pins in your fingers
And tread on your feet...
Maybe a cigarette burn on your arm
Would change your expression
To one of alarm.
I'll drag you round by a lock of your hair
Or give you a push
At the top of the stairs...
I'm the school bully!
The classroom cheat.
The nasty play friend
You ever could meet.
I'll put glass in your dinner
And spikes in your seat...
