Song parody of

The Heist

by Kate Tempest

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It’s midnight in the metropolis Winter is coming Harry’s in the hallway Counting out his money Leon’s in the kitchen Sharpening knives The moonlight whispers In the dark of the skies Leon and Harry Friends since before they could say the word ‘friend’ Two sides of the same coin Two-man industry, they play it very cool Harry’s got the plans, Leon’s got the heavy tools Sell at high price to discerning clientele But tonight Harry’s worried, though ‘Cause Leon’s high as hell With an unfamiliar glimmer in his eye Looks like it might be a difficult night You’ve got to take it as it comes You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do Until you get it done You’ve got to know what you’re in it for And don’t stop ‘til you got what you’re living for It’s horrible in Paradise Harry’s at the bar, sipping lager Leon’s in the corner with a Pina Colada And two girls, Rachel and Renata Keeping one eye on Harry And the other on the dancefloor Sounds of laughter Harry stares ahead of him The guy standing next him Turns to him and he says to him: ‘I’m a friend of Pico’s, I heard you need the medicine’ Harry looks him up and down, like I don’t like the stench of him Without saying anything, Harry’s on his feet Walking to the back room, trying to look discreet The guy that he’s following is flabby round the middle Wearing a blue suit, pink tie, new boots Slick hair to the side, little ‘tache And he walks with a limp He talks with a sort of distorted lisp Leon’s on his feet, staying hidden As they step into the back room, he slips in with them You’ve got to take it as it comes You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do Until you get it done You’ve got to know what you’re in it for And don’t stop ‘til you got what you’re living for You’ve got to take it as it comes You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do Until you get it done You’ve got to know what you’re in it for And keep on, even when it all goes wrong The guy says, ‘Call me Joey This here is my place I’m the King to Pico’s Ace And I hope for your sake mate that you ain’t no joker.’ Harry says nothing Joey beckons to the sofa They sit either side of a glass-topped tank There’s a baby shark inside, about a metre long The room is dim lit and the walls are blank Joey says, ‘Now we both know that Pico’s gone Away for a little while Before he left, he said you was a good guy No funny business.’ Joey takes a package from the chest by the desk And he puts it on the tank and His eyes shine vicious and cold Now he’s pouring out a brandy Saying, ‘This is premium quality Do you understand me? Since Pico’s departure, the prices have risen It’s double what it used to be Ok?’ Sitting there quietly Harry opens up his suitcase ‘I’ll pay you what I paid him.’ Joey smiles like his tooth aches All lop-sided and strange He says, ‘You’ll pay me what I ask for Or you walk away with nothing You know full well It’s the best coke in the country You either deal with me or your customers go hungry What’s the matter, Harry? You look a little jumpy Cat got your tongue or something?’ Leon’s watching from the corner Wondering if he’s bluffing Joey’s waiting Harry’s saying, ‘No No negotiating.’ Joey says: ‘It’s more pure Than what you’ve had before This is straight off the boat No joke Where’s the notes?’ In a breath, Leon’s out from his hiding place Steel toes, hurricane hands, calm face Joey drops suddenly Like a kid with his first pill Harry’s at the stash Getting the cash Leon works ‘til Joey’s just a pattern in the carpet Harry shakes his head and puts the package in his jacket ‘What?’ says Leon ‘Ain’t worth doing nothing half-hearted.’ Harry buttons his coat and tries to settle his Panic You’ve got know what you’re in it for And keep on, right? Even when it all goes wrong?

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The Heist

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