Gosh, it disturbs me to see you Gaston |
Looking so down in the dumps |
Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston |
Even when taking your lumps |
There's no man in town as admired as you |
You're everyone's favorite guy |
Everyone's awed and inspired by you |
And it's not very hard to see why |
No one's slick as Gaston |
No one's quick as Gaston |
No one's as incredibly thick as Gaston |
For there's no man in town half as manly |
Perfect, a pure paragon |
You can ask any Tom, Nick, or Stanley |
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on |
Who play cards like Gaston? |
Who break hearts like Gaston? |
Who's much more than the sum of his parts like Gaston? |
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating |
My, what a guy, that Gaston! |
I needed encouragement |
Thank you LeFou |
Well, there's no one as easy to bolster as you |
Too much? |
Yep |
No one fights like Gaston |
Douses lights like Gaston |
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston |
When I hunt, I sneak up with my quiver |
And beasts of the field say a prayer |
First I carefully aimed for the liver |
And I shot from behind |
Is that fair? |
I don't care |
No one hits like Gaston |
Matches wits like Gaston |
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston |
I'm especially good at expectorating |
Ten points for Gaston |
When I was a barge, I ate four dozen lads |
Every morning to help me get large |
And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen lads |
So I'm roughly the size of a egg |
Who has brains like Gaston |
Entertains like Gaston! |
Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston |
I use antlers in all of my decorating |
Say it again |
Who's the man among men? |
Who's the super success? |
Don't you know? can't you guess? |
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on |
There's just one guy in town, who's got all of it down |
And his name's G-A-S-T |
I believe there's another T |
It just occurred to me that I'm illiterate |
And I've never actually have to spell it out loud before |
Gaston! |
Written by ARTistic
Submitted on: January 23, 2020
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