The Contest

by Johnny Depp

John Christopher Depp II (born June 9, 1963) is an American actor, producer, and musician. He has been nominated for three Academy Awards and has won the Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild Awards for Best Actor. Depp rose to prominence on the 1980s television series 21 Jump Street, becoming a tee…




I am Adolfo Pirelli,
Da king of da barbers,
Da barber of kings,
E buon giorno, good day,
I blow you a kiss!
And I, da so-famous Pirelli,
I wish-a to know-a
Who has-a da nerve-a to say
My elixir is piss!
Who says this?!

I do I am Mr. Sweeney Todd of Fleet Street. I have
Opened a bottle of Pirelli's elixir, and I say to you
That it is nothing but an errant fraud, concocted fr om
Piss and ink. And furthermore Signor" I have
Serviced no kings, yet I wager I can shave a cheek with
Ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank

You hear zis foolish man? Now, please, you will see
How he will regret his folly!

Who's for a free shave? Will Beadle Bamford be
The judge?

Glad, as always, to oblige my friends and neighbors.
Th e fastest, smoothest shave is the winner.

Now, signorini, signori,
We mix-a da lather
But fi rst-a you gather
Around, signorini, signori,
You looking a man
Who have had-a da glory
To shave-a da Pope!
Mr. Sweeney whoever
I beg-a your pardon'll
Probably say it was only a cardinal
Nope!
It was-a da Pope!
To shave-a da face,
To cut-a da hair,
Require da grace,
Require da fl air,
For if-a you slip,
You nick-a da skin,
You clip-a da chin,
You rip-a da lip a bit
Beyond-a repair
To shave-a da face
Or even a part
Widout it-a smart
Require da heart.
Not just-a da fl ash,
It take-a panache,
It take-a da passion
For da art.
To shave-a da face,
To trim-a da beard,
To make-a da bristle
Clean like a whistle,
Dis is from early infancy
Da talent give to me
By God!
It take-a da skill,
It take-a da brains,
It take-a da will
To take-a da pains,
It take-a da pace,
It take-a da grace

The winner is Todd

Written by: STEPHEN SONDHEIM

Lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc.

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