The Piano Has Been Drinking

by Tom Waits

Thomas Alan "Tom" Waits (born December 7, 1949) is an American singer-songwriter, composer, and actor. Waits has a distinctive voice, described by critic Daniel Durchholz as sounding "like it was soaked in a vat of bourbon, left hanging in the smokehouse for a few months, and then taken outside and…




The piano has been drinking,
My necktie is asleep
And the combo went back to New York,
The jukebox has to take a leak
And the carpet needs a haircut,
And the spotlight looks like a prison break
And the telephone's out of cigarettes,
And the balcony is on the make
And the piano has been drinking,
The piano has been drinking

And the menus are all freezing,
And the light man's blind in one eye 
And he can't see out of the other
And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid,
And he showed up with his mother
And the piano has been drinking,
The piano has been drinking
As the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler
Cream puff casper milk toast
And the owner is a mental midget
With the I.Q. of a fence post
'Cause the piano has been drinking,
The piano has been drinking

And you can't find your waitress
With a Geiger counter
And she hates you and your friends and you
Just can't get served without her
And the box office is drooling,
And the bar stools are on fire
And the newspapers were fooling,
And the ash-trays have retired
'Cause the piano has been drinking,
The piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking,
Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me

Written by: Tom Waits

Lyrics © BMG Rights Management

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