The Internet Is for Porn
KATE MONSTER (spoken) Finally! I get to teach a whole lesson all by myself! And I'm gonna teach something relevant, something Modern -- the internet! (sung) The internet is really really great. TREKKIE MONSTER For porn! KATE MONSTER I got a fast connection so I didn't have to wait. TREKKIE MONSTER For porn! KATE MONSTER There's always some new site. TREKKIE MONSTER For porn! KATE MONSTER I browse all day and night. TREKKIE MONSTER For porn! KATE MONSTER It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light. TREKKIE MONSTER For porn! KATE MONSTER (spoken) Trekkie! TREKKIE MONSTER (sung) The internet is for porn! The internet is for porn! Why do you think the net was born? Porn! Porn! Porn! KATE MONSTER (spoken) Trekkie! What are you doing? TREKKIE MONSTER Hello, Kate Monster. KATE MONSTER You are ruining my song. TREKKIE MONSTER Oh, me sorry. Me no mean to. KATE MONSTER Well, if you wouldn't mind, please, being Quiet for a minute so I can finish? TREKKIE MONSTER Okey-dokey. KATE MONSTER Good. (sung) I'm glad we have this new technology. TREKKIE MONSTER For porn. (oop!) KATE MONSTER Which gives us untold opportunity. TREKKIE MONSTER For porn. (ooops, sorry!) KATE MONSTER Right from your own desktop... TREKKIE MONSTER For p----. KATE MONSTER You can research, browse and shop... Until you've had enough and you're ready to stop! TREKKIE MONSTER For porn! KATE MONSTER Trekkie! TREKKIE MONSTER The internet is for porn! The internet is for porn! The internet is for porn! Me up all night honking me Horn to porn, porn, porn! KATE MONSTER (spoken) That's gross! You're a pervert! TREKKIE MONSTER Ahh, sticks and stones, Kate Monster. KATE MONSTER No, really, you're a pervert! Normal people Don't sit at home and look at porn on the internet! TREKKIE MONSTER Ohhhhh? KATE MONSTER What? TREKKIE MONSTER You have no idea. Ready, normal people? BRIAN Ready! GARY COLEMAN Ready! ROD Ready! TREKKIE MONSTER Lemme hear it! (sung) GUYS The internet is for porn. PRINCETON Sorry, Kate! GUYS The internet is for porn. PRINCETON I masturbate! TREKKIE MONSTER All these guys unzip their flies for... GUYS Porn! Porn! Porn! (spoken) KATE MONSTER The internet is not for porn! Hold on a second! TREKKIE MONSTER Wha? KATE MONSTER Now, I happen to know for a fact that you, Rod, Check your portfolio and trade stocks online. ROD That's correct. KATE MONSTER And Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com! BRIAN Sure. KATE MONSTER And Gary, you keep selling your possessions on eBay! GARY COLEMAN Yes, I do! KATE MONSTER And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card. PRINCETON True. TREKKIE MONSTER But Kate... what you think he do after, hmmm? PRINCETON Yeah. KATE MONSTER Ewww! (sung) GUYS The internet is for porn. The internet is for porn. Grab your dick and double click For porn! Porn! Porn! Poooorn! Poooorn! The internet is for, Internet is for, Internet is for porn! KATE (spoken simultaneously) Gross! I hate porn! I hate men! I'm leaving! I hate the internet!
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"The Internet Is for Porn Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 4 Jul 2022. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/6594148/Stephanie+D%27Abruzzo/The+Internet+Is+for+Porn>.