Steve Berman [Relapse Skit]

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Steve Berman

Steve Berman is an American editor, novelist and short story writer. He writes in the field of queer speculative fiction. more »

Year:: 2001
: 134 Views
Playlists:: #4

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Mr. Berman?

What?

We have Eminem here to see you

About fuckin' time! Send him in
Steve! Good to see ya, man. Um, hey, I just w–
Well, look who decided to show his face!
I hope you've had fun in the last four years
Look man, I apologize again for–
For shooting me?! Do you know I lost the use of my right arm?
Again, it was a mistake, a terrible mist–
Are you wearing a bulletproof vest?
And then you go and do what? Hide out?
Stay in Detroit for almost five years
While the music industry melts the f*ck down?
Do you know how many people lost their jobs
Because of your fuckin' vacation?
Well, that's actually why I'm here
I was gonna put out some new music
And I wanted to play it for you and get your opinion
Do I really need to hear it?
Let me guess, another album about: "Poor me!
I'm so famous that it's ruined my rich little life
And I'm such a tortured artist, let me make music about it
And my tragic love life!" Am I on to something here?
Come on, man, it's not like that
You know what? Just hand the fuckin' thing over!
I'm done talkin' to you!
Think you can just come and go as you please
Big selfish superstar?
Steve, I had a drug problem!
"Oh, poor me! I had a drug problem!"
Who hasn't had a drug problem in this town?
You know what? (*gun cocks*)
Hey! hey!
Just lay the shit down on my desk and get the f*ck out!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Jesus Christ, man
Alright, alright, here, fine
What's this shit? Two CDs?
That's what I've been tryin' to tell you, man, there's two albums
Just get out!
Alright!
Get the f*ck out!
Alright, man, see you later