Jiggle the Handle


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Gwar, often stylized as GWAR, is an American heavy metal band formed in Richmond, Virginia in 1984, composed of and operated by a frequently rotating line-up of musicians, artists, and filmmakers collectively known as Slave Pit Inc. Since the death of frontman and lead singer Dave Brockie in 2014, the group has continued recording and performing without any of its founding members.Identified by their distinctively grotesque costumes, Gwar's core thematic and visual concept revolves around an elaborate science fiction-themed mythology which portrays the band members as barbaric interplanetary warriors, a narrative which serves as the basis for all of the band's albums, live shows and media. With over-the-top violent, sexual, and scatological humor typically in… more »


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Gwar, I bring forth the portal potty
Coming to feed on the shit from your bodies.
Your turds have more power than mere human feces
Let's use it's great power to recover the pieces

Hey! hey jackass!
Yea you!
You got to love me so good!
Yea, yea you can depend on me
Depending on, if my water's on
If my pipe's unglogged
Ah if you're water-logged
Baby, I am the hole I am your toilet bowl I'll suck your soul
Just pay just pay my shitty toll! ah.

Coated in shit I give all you desire
Mystical doorway swimming in mire
We'll use the plunger if blockage won't budge
It's a door through the plane of fudge

So many times I have found you, still I always piss on the ground
Now that I can use you I'm gonna stop fucking around
If you need shit, then I got shit
On that you can depend I'll pump your stump,
You fuckin' hump, my crappy, crap-caked friend

The portal potty, a gift from the gods
Let's pay it tribute and bury our wads

I think we know what it's all about.
Jiggle the handle and watch something jump out.

I am a woman and I have my needs.
You can never really know just where or when I'll bleed
You need my egg, I need your seed
But pray at the altar, the toilet must feed!

Yea, I'll bring ya some suckers for a killing spree
Just keep that fucking tampon away from me.

Take in this world, it's so beautiful 
Filthy humans, you're all so full of it 
That which you can't stand you can't understand
Speak the mystic words and bring forth
A turd you turn around into it and turn over to me.

Cross the river, leave the abyss
Give the seat of the toilet a kiss

Each virgin sacrifice speaks these magic words.
Well, jiggle the handle, and call forth a turd.

Yea! here it comes baby,
I'm dropping my load
I'm ain't just on it,
I am the commode! ah!

The power of the toilet must never be abused
He must be plunged, he must be sponged, or carnage could ensue.
If a dead sheep had clogged him, who knows what could arrive.
Maybe it will bring the master here, wouldn't that be a surprise!

 Become A Better Singer In Only 30 Days, With Easy Video Lessons!

Written by: Bradley Roberts

Lyrics © BMG Rights Management

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

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    "Jiggle the Handle Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 9 Dec. 2023. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/3017897/GWAR/Jiggle+the+Handle>.

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