When I Get to Heaven
If I go to Heaven it'll probably be a slum And all the pretty angels just might be packing guns And if I see St. Peter will he hit me up for cash Will I find the road to Jesus or just lose him in the trash The Shaggs were right You're never going to please anybody Not in this world If I go to Hell I might find it very dull Like an Amway convention or an endless shopping mall When all the innocent demons want to poke me with a fork Or just put me in a taxi and send me to New York Scientists proved it years ago The Shaggs were much better than the Beatles Maybe I'll return as an iguana And lie upon a beach down in the Bahamas Although ignored in their day The Shaggs are now recognised as the geniuses they were I just wanna know what happens when you die Do you walk down in a hole or float up to the sky Is it just a waste of water, when your widow cries? Oh don't tell me you've never heard of the Shaggs? If the atheists are right then I have no need to worry For there is no great being whose favour I must curry And I'll be going nowhere once they lay me in the earth So why waste a Sunday by going to church? If you really wanted to You could run out right now and buy a Shaggs record If the atheists are wrong then I've got a bill that's due So should I be a Christian or a Moslem or a Jew Should I spend all day just praying on my knees And searching through the world for a deity to please A Shaggs record would be a sound investment If the atheists are right then I have no need to worry For there is no great being whose favour I must curry The fat peoples want what the skinny peoples got The skinny peoples want what the fat peoples got But all I've ever wanted is what the Shaggs got Dat Ding(?) and my pal, Foot Foot
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"When I Get to Heaven Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 15 Oct. 2019. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/2348097/The+Dead+Milkmen>.