"Otto Titsling"

Bette Midler Buy

FAVORITE (3 fans)

Bette Midler

Bette Midler (born December 1, 1945), also known by her informal stage name, The Divine Miss M, is an American singer-songwriter, actress, comedian, producer and entrepreneur. In a career spanning almost half a century, Midler has been nominated for two Academy Awards, and won three Grammy Awards, four Golden Globes, three Emmy Awards, and a special Tony Award. She has sold over 30 million albums worldwide. more »


Year:
1985
214 Views

 Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer

Otto titsling,inventor and crout,
Had nothing to get very worked up about.
His inventions were failures, his future seemed bleak.
He fled to the opera at least twice a week.

One night at the opera he saw an aida
Who's bust was so big it would often impede her.
Bug-eyed he watched her fall into the pit,
Done in by the weight of those terrible tits.

Oh, my god! there she blows!
Aerodynamically this girl was a mess.
Otto eye-balled the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds,And he suddenly felt the fire of inspiration Flood his soul. 
He ran back to his workshop
Where he futzed and futzed and futzed.

For otto titsling had found his quest:
To lift and mold the female breast;
To point the small ones to the sky;
To keep the big ones high and dry!

Every night he'd sweat and snort
Searching for the right support.
He tried some string and paper clips.
Hey! he even tried his own two lips!

Well, he stiched and he slaved
And he slaved and he stitched
Until finally one night, in the wee hours of morning,
Otto arose from his workbench triumphant.
Yes! he had invented the worlds first
Over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.
 Hooray!

Exhausted but ecstatic otto ran out to the diva Bearing the prototype in his hot little hand.
Now, the diva did not want to try the darn thing on.
But,after many initial mishaps,
She finally did.
And the sigh of relief that issued forth
From the her mouth
Was so loud that it was mistaken by some
To be the early onset of the seraken winds
Which would often roll through the schwarzwald
With a vengeance!
Ahhhhh-i!

Butlittle did otto know,
At the moment of his greatest triumph,
Lurking under the diva's bed
Was none other than the very worst
Of the french patent thieves,
Phillip DeBrassiere.
And phil was watching the scene
With a great deal of interest!

Later that night, while our broom hilda slept,
Into the wardrobe phillip softly crept.
He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore,
'til he found otto's titsling and he ran out the door.

Crying, "oh, my god!
 What joy! What bliss!
I'm gonna make me a million from this!
Every woman in the world will want to buy one.
I can have all the goods manufactures in Taiwan."

The result of this swindle is pointedly clear:
Do you buy a Titsling or do you buy a Brassiere?

 Become A Better Singer In Only 30 Days, With Easy Video Lessons!

Written by: BETTE MIDLER, CHARLENE SEEGER, JERRY BLATT, MARC SHAIMAN

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

Discuss the "Otto Titsling" Lyrics with the community:

0 Comments

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add these lyrics to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    ""Otto Titsling" Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 9 May 2021. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/225195/Bette+Midler>.

    Missing lyrics by Bette Midler?

    Know any other songs by Bette Midler? Don't keep it to yourself!

    Watch the song video

    "Otto Titsling"

    604.9K
    2,220     82

    more tracks from the album

    Mud Will Be Flung Tonight!

    Browse Lyrics.com

    Quiz

    Are you a music master?

    »
    What’s the most-played song of all time on American radio?
    • A. Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You
    • B. You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’
    • C. Yesterday
    • D. Stand By Me

    Free, no signup required:

    Add to Chrome

    Get instant explanation for any lyrics that hits you anywhere on the web!

    Free, no signup required:

    Add to Firefox

    Get instant explanation for any acronym or abbreviation that hits you anywhere on the web!

    Bette Midler tracks

    On Radio Right Now

    Loading...

    Powered by OnRad.io


    Think you know music? Test your MusicIQ here!