Nina

Noël CowardNoël Coward 

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Noël Coward

Sir Noël Peirce Coward (16 December 1899 – 26 March 1973) was an English playwright, composer, director, actor and singer, known for his wit, flamboyance, and what Time magazine called "a sense of personal style, a combination of cheek and chic, pose and poise". more »

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Señorita Nina, from Argentina, knew all the answers 
Though her relatives and friends were perfect dancers 
She swore she'd never dance a step until she died 

She said, ""I've seen too many movies, and all they prove is too idiotic. 
They all insist that South America's exotic 
Whereas it couldn't be more boring if it tried."" 

She added firmly that she hated 
The sound of soft guitars beside a still lagoon 
She also positively stated 
That she could not abide a Southern moon 

She refused to Begin The Beguine when they requested it 
And she made an embarrassing scene if anyone suggested it 
For she detested it. 

Though no-one ever could be keener than little Nina 
On quite a number of very eligible men who did the rhumba 
When they proposed to her she simply left them flat. 

She said that love should be impulsive, but not convulsive 
And syncopation had a discouraging effect on procreation 
And that she'd rather read a book and that was that. 

Señorita Nina, from Argentina, despised the Tango 
Although she never was a girl to let a man go 
She wouldn't sacrifice her principles for sex. 

She looked with scorn on the gyrations 
Of her relations who danced the conga 
And swore that if she had to stand it any longer 
She'd lose all dignity and wring their silly necks. 

She said that frankly she was blinded 
To all the over advertised romantic charms 
And then she got more bloody minded 
And told them where to put their tropic palms. 

She said ""I hate to be pedantic but I'm driven nearly frantic 
When I see that unromantic, sycophantic lot of sluts 
Forever wriggling their guts. 
It drives me absolutely nuts."" 

She declined to Begin The Beguine when they besought her to 
And with language profane and obscene she cursed the man who taught her to 
She cursed Cole Porter too. 

From this it's fairly clear that Nina, in her demeanour 
Was so offensive that when the hatred of her friends grew too intensive 
She thought she'd better beat it while she had the chance 

After some trial and tribulation, she reached the station 
And met a sailor, who had acquired a wooden leg in Venezuela 
And so she married him, because he couldn't dance. 

There surely never could've been a 
More irritating girl than Nina 
They never speak in Argentina 
Of this degenerate bambina 
Who had the luck to find romance 
But resolutely wouldn't dance.

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