Medical Love Song

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About Medical Love Song

"Medical Love Song" is a Monty Python comedy song composed by Eric Idle and John Du Prez, with lyrics co-written by Graham Chapman. It features on Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Album from 1980, and is also included on the CD Monty Python Sings. The song consists of a long list of sexually transmitted diseases contracted during a "lovely night in June" and their unpleasant effects on the body, using medical terminology provided by Graham Chapman who was a qualified doctor. The song was featured as an animated number in A Liar's Autobiography, during the end credits. 


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Inflammation of the foreskin
Reminds me of your smile
I've had ballanital chancroids
For quite a little while
I gave my heart to NSU
That lovely night in June
I ache for you my darling
And I hope you get well soon.

My penile warts, your herpes
My syphilitic sores
Your moenelial infection
How I miss you more and more
You dobie's itch, my scrumpox
Our lovely gonorrhea
At least we both were lying
When we said that we were clear

Our syphilitic kisses
Sealed the secret of our tryst
You gave me scrotal pustules 
With a quick flickof your wrist
Your trichovaginitis 
Sent shivers down my spine
I got snail tracks in my anus
When your spirochetes met mine.

Gonococcal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis,
Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididimitis, interstitial keratitis,
Syphalitic choroiditis, and anterior u-ve-i-tis.

My clapped out genetalia
Is not so bad for me
As the complete and utter failure
Every time I try to pee.
My doctor says my buboes
Are the worst he's ever seen
My scrotum's painted orange
And my balls are turning green.

My heart is very tender
Though my parts are awful raw
You might have been infected
But you never were a bore
I'm dying of your love my love
I'm your spirochaetal clown
I've left my body to science
But I'm afraid they've turned it down.

Gonococcal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis,
Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididimitis, interstitial keratitis,
Syphalitic choroiditis, and anterior u-ve-I-tis.

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Monty Python

Monty Python (sometimes known as The Pythons) was a British surreal comedy group that created Monty Python's Flying Circus, a British television comedy sketch show that first aired on the BBC on 5 October 1969. Forty-five episodes were made over four series. The Python phenomenon developed from the television series into something larger in scope and impact, spawning touring stage shows, films, numerous albums, several books and a stage musical as well as launching the members to individual stardom. The group's influence on comedy has been compared to The Beatles' influence on music. more »

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    Medical Love Song

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