Eminem Buy

FAVORITE (81 fans)


Marshall Bruce Mathers III (born October 17, 1972), known professionally as Eminem (/ˌɛmɪˈnɛm/; often stylized as EMINƎM), is an American rapper, songwriter, record producer, record executive, and actor. He is consistently cited as one of the greatest and most influential artists of all time in any genre, with Rolling Stone ranking him 83rd on its list of the 100 Greatest Artists of All Time and labelling him the "King of Hip Hop". He will often be called " Slim Shady" at times. He has gotten into quite some rap battles against MGK, ( Machine Gun Kelly) Snoop Dog, etc. more »


 Become A Better Singer In Only 30 Days, With Easy Video Lessons!

And everyone should get along
Okay children quiet down, quiet down 
Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day 
His name is Mr. Shady 

Children quiet down please 
Brian don't throw that (Shut up!) 
Mr. Shady will be your new substitute 
While Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia (He's got aids!) 
Good luck Mr. Shady 
Hi there little boys and girls (f*ck you!) 
Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels 
But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?) 
Say hi Bob! ("Hi Bob") Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom 
And he don't got a job, 'cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot 
But his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot 
And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot 
And wait in the parkin' lot for waitresses off the clock 
When it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog 
Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (ah!) 
And even if they escaped and they got the cops 
The ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge 
'Til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job 
When she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk 
But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off 
But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker 
Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka 
You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr." 
He grabbed Stace' by the legs as chopped it off her 
And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her 
But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander 
They never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner 
And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana, 
And what it might do to you 
So see if the squirrels want any, it's bad for you 
See children, drugs are bad (come on) 
And if you don't believe me, ask ya dad (ask him man) 
And if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right) 
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will) 
So kids say no to drugs (that's right) 
So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh) 
Then there's really nothin' else to say (sing along) 
Drugs are just bad, okay? 
My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it? 
F*ck no you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?) 
Speakin' of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels? 
Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world 
If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it 
Kids two hits will probably drain all your spinal fluid 
And spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back 
So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back 
Meet Zach, twenty-one years old 
After hangin' out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold 
And decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys 
And peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it 
Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyper drive 
And his eyes roll back in his skull 
His back starts to, look like the McDonald's Arches 
He's on Donald's carpet, layin' horizontal barfin' 
And everyone in the apartment starts laughin' at him 
"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!" 
'Cause they took it too, so they think it's funny 
So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money 
Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over 
And his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin' yoga 
And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac 
So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you 
And last but not least, one of the most humongous 
Problems among young people today, is fungus 
It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off, 
Bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it 
Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff 
And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em.. 
And sometimes you see things that aren't there (Like what?) 
Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair 
(Mr. Shady what's a G-string?) It's yarn Claire 
Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em (Huh?) 
And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms 
Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus 
Ya tongue gets, all swoll' up like a cow's tongue (How come?) 
'Cause it comes from a cow's dung (Gross!) 
See drugs are bad, it's a common fact 
But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at (Oh!) 
But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D. 
They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee 
And get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault 
So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't, 
'Cause I'm bad for you 

Come on children, clap along (Shut up!) 
Sing along children (Suck my motherfuckin' dick!) 
Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (South Park is gonna sue me!) 
So don't do drugs (Suck my motherfuckin' penis!) 
So there'll be more for me (Hippie! God dammit!) 

(Mushrooms killed Kenny! 
(So, fucked up, right now)

 Struggling with Kids? Become a better singer in 30 days with these videos!

Written by: Marshall Bruce Mathers, Jeff Bass, Mark Bass

Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

Discuss the Kids Lyrics with the community:



    Use the citation below to add these lyrics to your bibliography:


    "Kids Lyrics." STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 19 Jun 2021. <>.

    Missing lyrics by Eminem?

    Know any other songs by Eminem? Don't keep it to yourself!

    Watch the song video


    27,044     726



    Are you a music master?

    "Take me to your heart, take me to your soul. Give me your hand before I'm old."
    • A. Michael Jackson
    • B. Mariah Carey
    • C. Backstreet Boys
    • D. Michael Learns to Rock

    Free, no signup required:

    Add to Chrome

    Get instant explanation for any lyrics that hits you anywhere on the web!

    Free, no signup required:

    Add to Firefox

    Get instant explanation for any acronym or abbreviation that hits you anywhere on the web!

    Eminem tracks

    On Radio Right Now


    Powered by

    Think you know music? Test your MusicIQ here!

    Movies in which is played