himbo safari

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wack watson

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Too intimidated to date
Can't trip into intimacy like the straights
I'm just waiting to be swept off my feet
Like I've seen a thousand times on TV

Season after season he's been
My proxy boyfriend on nbc
There's no better man for me
If only we could meet in some

Fantasy of a crowded bar
Where I take my pick of movie stars
Sloppy sitcom uncles and rugged cartoon lumberjacks

The total package of scripted interactions
And I can't help falling for the final draft
With your edges exactly as rough as they need to be

I record all your highlights
Your best lines
I rewatch and rewind
To pause on every smolder and grin
Press the screen to my skin
To approximate the feeling
Of holding your hand

For 24 frames a second
I don't care that you're unaware of my presence
I'm just another voyeur simpin' for ya
Cuz worship is its own reward

I'd rather watch you try and flirt
Than write my own self insert
I'm just here to observe
Is this love or fanservice
Just hooking me in how it should

Well I'm all geared up for the himbo safari
Camouflage and a DSLR
I'm the homosexual national geographic
With a habit of scouting your habitat for attractive

Men, sketched in pen
Dumb as bricks, my perfect ten
Been the best boy since the very first storyboard

I record all your highlights
Your best lines
I rewatch and rewind
To pause on every smolder and grin
Press the screen to my skin
To approximate the feeling
Of holding your hand

You see how far I am
From the average fan
No I won't try to find a non-fiction man
Just to pale in comparison to my husbando

But he's too hot to handle
With nowhere to go since his
Show got canceled but
I've got a non-union set in my head
Where he says things he never said

These two-dimensional men have ruined me
How do I get used to the
uncertainty
Of another human being

Oh these two-dimensional men
Won't wear down my defense
With boring small talk to perform
And smiles to force

I just record all your highlights
Your best lines
I rewatch and rewind
To pause on every smolder and grin
Press the screen to my skin
To approximate the feeling
Of holding your hand
Reaching out on past the scanlines

I record all your highlights
Your best lines
I rewatch and rewind
To pause on every smolder and grin
Press the screen to my skin
Like you reciprocate the feeling

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