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False Serenity

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(I don't wanna be 20-something
And still in my head about
17 in my bedroom talking
You said that by now, we'd
Paint the walls of our shared apartment
You're still everything I want and
I think we could work it out
So what are you doing now?)
Breathe in, breathe out
Breathe in, breathe out
Breathe in, breathe out
Breathe in, breathe out
I'm talking to my mirror but he won't answer
I just wanna' work this out without the banter
And get to business because I'm not a kid anymore
I'm almost an adult but still, I just sit on the floor
And lie here in paralyzed fear that all of my peers
Will live life cheered and I'll be stuck chasing my dreams until I die here
I just wanna live life clear
And not be stuck workin' a nine to five that I'm not happy with
Whether fryin' fries or sittin' behind a desk while I divide by pi
I'd rather get into a car crash and die inside
Because then my life would have as much meaning
As sitting in my bed all day and doing nothing
Besides waitin' on my ride to pick me up and bring me to a
F*ck, sorry for being cynical
It's just that I don't wanna be 20-something
And still in my head about
17 in my bedroom talking
I thought that by now
I'd have worked out what I want accomplished
Before I land in my coffin
I think I could work this out
But I just need time
I don't wanna be 20-something
And still in my head about
17 in my bedroom talking
I thought that by now
I'd have worked out what I want accomplished
Before I land in my coffin
I think I could work this out
But I just need time
But that's the scary part, it's I ain't got time
I've had to pretend that I'm ok when I'm not fine
Juggling school work and a job,
My friends, my mental health has got me Googling a hotline
I'm being pressured by everybody around me
To figure out if I'm going in state, out, or county
But how the f*ck would I know?
All I know's if you doubt me, don't be surprised if I flip out
Because I'm still right where you found me in the seventh grade
The fucking man of the class
There ain't no bandage or cast that could heal the damage I had
But I got a pen and a pad and somehow managed to grab
And bottle all of my anger then fuckin' cannon it back
And I still am and I'm mad
This is the best shit I've written, mixed with this excellent mixin'
Right now, I'm setting this shit and tellin' you all how it's gon' be
I'll give you records and then you'll give me respect and big checks
Because I'm done settlin' for this shit.
'Cause I'm not gonna be 20-something
And still in my head about
17 in my bedroom talking
I thought that by now
I'd have worked out what I want accomplished
Before I land in my coffin
I think I could work this out
But I just need time
Breathe in, breathe out
Breathe in, breathe out
Breathe in, breathe out
Breathe in, breathe out
(I don't wanna be 20-something
And still in my head about
17 in my bedroom talking
You said that by now, we'd
Paint the walls of our shared apartment
You're still everything I want and
I think we could work it out
So what are you doing now?)

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