Better Times

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JanTheSpaceman

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Look
Don't stir the pot, my thoughts are already mixing 
I cure my overthinking with constantly over drinking
What's missing? Ain't nobody who can tell me 
How I fill my lungs with smoke and how I'm still feeling empty 
Thought I got it down, but I'm staying up 
All that time spent wasted, I ain't saving up 
I don't pray enough, God I don't feel him lately 
Devil on my shoulder, he's the only one who feels me lately 
Maybe I'm tripping, I prepare for the worst 
Ain't gotta worry bout me leaving coz you'll prolly leave me first 
No, exaggeration, I know I'm constantly spacing
I just don't wanna be stuck in a place my demons are staying in 
I wanna change but, it just ain't that easy 
Sick to my stomach coz I can't stomach the fact that I gotta be me 
Wish this was something that I made up 
See me in your dreams, I'll disappear when you wake up 

You ain't gotta fit my shoes
Heart on my sleeve, and it's always being used 
Same old news, you think I'd start to learn my lesson
All these late nights, wrestling with all these questions 
Just because we struggle different, doesn't mean the pain is 
Loneliness the same it don't matter what your name is 
I swear your time isn't done
Hold on to hope coz better times finna come 

I took a swig out the bottle, now it's empty just like I am 
Ain't like these woke folk who got the vision of a blind man 
I crave change, pocket change that shit is new to me   
People change for dollars, can't imagine what it'd do to me 
What it do for me, won't know until I get it 
You won't ever be shit, that's how everybody said it 
I guess it's, me against them, against myself 
Me against my spiritual, physical and mental health
People question why I'm fucked up, push me pussy I dare you 
Almost blew my brains out, so don't ever think that I'm scared to 
Sentence you to death, lungs collapsed I'm outta breath
My pen a one way train and the destination is death 
All connected to rest and I ain't trynna be acquainted 
Blood thicker than water but sometimes that shit be tainted 
The most toxic people be the ones at the crib 
Sad to say, sometimes that's just the way that it is 

You ain't gotta fit my shoes
Heart on my sleeve, and it's always being used 
Same old news, you think I'd start to learn my lesson
All these late nights, wrestling with all these questions 
Just because we struggle different, doesn't mean the pain is 
Loneliness the same it don't matter what your name is 
I swear your time isn't done
Hold on to hope coz better times finna come 

At times I wonder why I'm being blessed
Taking life for granted when there's people around me who's contemplating death
I guess it's messed up, that I can't keep my head up 
Fed up over petty shit, when other people stress to even get up 
They step up to pretend
I pray for new beginnings others praying for the end 
I been steady flexing, while they struggling to bend 
They out there crying as they bleed they body dry while I smile as I bleed my pen 
Moms taught me to fall, pops taught me to stand 
28 years and I still don't understand
Who I am or what my purpose is 
Look in the mirror and I realize what worthless is 
I guess I'm selfish, neglecting help when others out there helpless 
People freezing so I hope my words is hot enough to melt this
Iceberg that your heart has been encased in 
Just in case my time is now, I wanna make my statement 

You ain't gotta fit my shoes
Heart on my sleeve, and it's always being used 
Same old news, you think I'd start to learn my lesson
All these late nights, wrestling with all these questions 
Just because we struggle different, doesn't mean the pain is 
Loneliness the same it don't matter what your name is 
I swear your time isn't done
Hold on to hope coz better times finna come 

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