Saving Me Isn't Easy

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Nico King

5:27

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Shaking floorboards, heaving chest
The knife lays flat on the wooden desk
I grab it in my hand
Standing firmly on this land
Do you really think that I've forgotten
Those endless nights of turning and tossing
That unescapable scathing ray
That decimated my soul everyday
Orange, yellow, blue, and red
I'd prefer to hurry up and be dead
Moment's culminated here
Iridescent flames cower in fear
I once called you a friend
Now you're nothing but a loose end
How did I ever really love you
What if I never wanted to
The knife pricks open the box
My heart unwillingly unlocks
Paper flurries in the flame
Penetrating my mind, I hear your name
Orange, yellow, blue, and red
Remember those sunny days where you lead
Me down the rabbit hole
Into the abyss of your shimmering soul
Orange, yellow, white, and red
Oftentimes I wish for another head
To fill with new memories
Reinvigorate my life with your elegies
Oh no
Oh wait
You're the last part of me I have left
Oh stop
Please don't
You're the heart beating blue in my empty chest
I'm so scared to exist without your grace
But I'm even more frightened to view your face
Your childish voice, your wine-stained mouth
I'm puzzled but I'll figure it out
The fear that once governed my life
Now subsides into the cover of night
Orange, yellow, blue, and red
I think I'd rather just be dead
Join you wherever the hell you are
Embark on a journey across the stars
Orange, yellow, white, and red
Once upon a time, I was living instead
Interlocked fingers outline you and me
Grey skies stretch as far as we can see
Come back to me
Illuminate my home with warmth
Illuminate my soul henceforth
The dichotomy between you and me
Reaches from the sky to the depths of the sea
My declaration is this to you
And I assure you that it is true
Saving me isn't easy
So compose yourself and leave me
Orange, yellow, blue, and red
Whimsy inside of my head
Spirits sing their joyful songs
But it's been too long
My dedication is unwavering
And yet I'm still savoring
A bundle of crumpled-up notes
Your love still warm like a winter coat
Maybe I'll clutch onto what's left
What you left on my doorstep
What you forgot in my bedroom
The heavy spirits you let loom
Juxtaposition of love and hate
Abhorrent time I'm condemned to wait
Harbor no ills for the past now
Watch me burn my house down
My declaration is this to you
And I assure you that it is true
Saving me isn't easy
So compose yourself and leave me
My declaration is this to you
And I assure you that it is true
Saving me isn't easy
So compose yourself and leave me
And I'll burn my house down
I'd burn it all to the ground

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