It's So Hard (feat. Lynx)

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Dubious Thoughts

5:12

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Yo, I go by the name of Dubious Thoughts
I feel like sometimes, I hide behind my shell
Like I was bound for hell but, I got a story to tell
Cuz my soul was up for sale
Here me out
This is my testimony
I got multiple identities
Jesus help me please
Split personality, sinful by nature but saved at 23
Now lemme break down my life diary
Multi cultural family with a racist white daddy
How dat happen
I was brought up by some real G's
They weren't crips
They wore R-E-D B-L-Double O-D
Norties
My nephews and niece
Taught me all the tricks from nollies and fakies
Showed me all rappers from Spice to Woodie
Extreme to Mac Dreezy King Nicky and RBL posse
Too Sheezy
I grew up on the edge of the stack, we owned a 79 Cadillac
Posted in the Sac
Sacramento
Wasn't poor wasn't rich but always wanted more
My dad always told me I would sore, sore
My dad always told me I would sore, told me I would sore
Til he was caught in the fire
I was rocked to the core as a sophomore
So I turned to the things gave me relief
Money drugs and materials things
79 Cadillac pops put me in the back
Look left look right head low through The Stack
In the 79 Cadillac, head low through The Stack
But it didn't last it once I turned 18, glitter and bling
Change the whole the scene
Christmas Eve night with my moms man Mike
Talkin shit bout my dad so we started to fight
Broke my hand on his face he looked like Mr. T from Rocky 3 he start to bleed
Never saw him again
Start to get my life together
Birds of a feather flock together
Got me a sales job you ever heard of Vector
Taught me how to spit game like I'm at the Rucka
Slangin' knives on the drop of dime Imma get mines
Three months later made 15 G's
Not bad without a college degree
I'm only 19 pro skatin' was the dream
Sponsored by Mugillikuty
Tryna make a name for myself put food up on my mommas shelf
She couldn't help herself
She was strung out speed and meth
I guess I didn't grow up like the rest but she always did her best
Mom's on cloud 9, 19 I'm gettin' mine
Paper stackin' blue faces faith showed right on time
Right on time
Faith done showed up right one time
Cuz I'm 19 gettin' mine
I need to move out so I moved to my buddies house
Kicked it everyday and got cottonmouth
Learned how to eat a girl out
Life hit me like a ton of bricks
I hadn't saved shit
Gotta move back with my moms
With no lights on no heat on no water on all the food is gone
Stole the neighbors newspaper just to stay warm
My homie comes over and wraps me in his arms
Dude what are you doin' you look like a bum
You're not skating or havin' any fun
My life was a mess, nothing to live for
Nothing but a ruin
Come n' meet my girlfriend
He said pick you up tomorrow when you wake up from ya bed
What've I got to loose except my birthday blues
I'll set aside the boose avoid ending up on the evening news
So I cut my evening short with the fashion models I support
I'll come meet your girlfriend and avoid the kangaroo court
Down low gutter bound weight tryna keep me down
Pull me up dust me off lost I'm about to drown
Bout to drown
And I'm lost I'm about to drown
Cuz I'm down low gutter bound
Little did I know he was tryna save my soul
Told me we gon' go to Redwood Chapel
I didn't wanna go, so I slammed the do' in 4 do' Ford Foc
Went home took some notes
Plotted and schemed try to prove the pastor wrong
But by the end of the worship song I'm singing along
What the hell is going on
I had questions to be asked
Like what do you do with the rejects and the worst outcasts
He asked me kindly can I take off my mask
As he put a mirror in front of me and said
Funny you should ask
So I had to do the math
He was talking bout me he said the Lord has forgiven thee
He loves you til' eternity he died for you on a tree
He'll see you through the storm
Count it pure joy my bro when you encounter trials in different forms
Knowing that the testing of your faith
Helps produce endurance as you run the race
Let endurance make you perfect
There's a lot more to learn yet
But he will never let you down you can bet
Thank you Kory Brian and Jeff
I don't know where my soul would be
Had it not been for you three
So hard on my own God's plan saved my soul
Boy showed up right on time now I'm on my shine
Cuz my boy showed up right on time
And now I'm on my shine
On my shine on my shine
Cuz I'm on my shine
And I'm on my shine
Cuz I'm on my shine
Cuz I'm on my shine

 Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer