Well... ohh Dang it, gosh darn, it's gonna be a bag salad American, United, and that Delta flight from Siam They're mixing 'em like veggies since they finished up a-flying And if my bag it pops out like a Ripe to Mater... how I'll hail him there with weary hungered eyes Just waiting, salivating for the juice he's got inside Then I'll pluck my plump red little bump Right off that moving vine And I'll plop him down into my luggage cart But the lady here beside me wants a cucumber, she says Some kind of oblong rounded thing that's green instead of red And she's praying and she's hoping that it hasn't pickled yet 'Cause she relishes her suitcase when it's fresh And.. dang it, gosh darn, it's gonna be a bag salad American, United, and that Delta flight from Siam They're mixing 'em like veggies since they finished up a-flying And if my second bag it pops out like a Turnip.. I'll await him there with whetted appetite To find out if his turned up nose has made it through the flight Then I'll grab him by the sprout and maybe take a little bite Then I'll plop him down right to my to-ma-to (Or as they say in England to-mah-to) But I'm wondering where's the lettuce now, the thought creeps in my mind The king of all the leafy greens, his nutrients divine Then I see a flat and ruffled green bag coming down the line But then an army man says 'no sir, that one's mine!' So I argue for a minute, saying 'listen, if you will We're trying to make a salad here and need the lettuce still' But then he tells me 'I'm a real man, boy, I eat steak from the grill And this here bag's to feed a cow before I kill... him Ohh, but.. dang it, gosh darn, it's gonna be a bag salad American, United, and that Delta flight from Siam They're mixing 'em like veggies since they finished up a-flying And if there ain't no lettuce, guess I'll settle... for some Cabbage, 'cause goddammit must be someone to convince To give this salad what it needs, a cruciferous prince Then I see a purple head of baggage, all but set to rinse And so I beg its owner 'please don't be a grinch' But this guy's a long haired hippie with his ball of blanket wraps And I can tell he digs his veggies, sure as maple trees give sap And he says 'why not, man, I love salad as a post-flight snack And if you like I've even got some sugar snap peas Then as we're setting off to go and toss the salad Mr. customs agent steps in with a grin Saying 'here's a ticket now to where the best tomatoes grow Repack those bags- you're going to Guantanomo'
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"Bag Salad Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 27 Jun 2022. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/5958817/Joshua+Tell/Bag+Salad>.