Birth of Bovine Jesus
Bovine Gang
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Three shepherds washed their cock by night They were preparing a chicken piccata But deep inside their souls did thirst And they couldn't push on any farther They yearned for beef, the red meat treat But for steak, they couldn't barter Because cattle was rare and no one did share So what the Shepards needed was a martyr Alone, we cattle are lost Together, with Bovine Jesus, we are found I was once lost, two days ago Away from the paddock, lost in IKEA I saw a light, a light so beguiling So beautiful, so wonderful! I pissed my pants in fear, in shame! Of my own worthlessness! In this endless corridor of IKEAs unmappable premises Bovine Jesus found me A bulge formed from Bovine Jesus's chest to his grundle His mammoth-sized udders began to shake and convulse madly Just like when my mothers stillborn crawled down her vaginal cavity His belly button began to open wider and wider Just like the expansion of my aunt's cervical entrance When my dad's sperm entered her womb Blood gushed out, dripping down his pulsating vascular endometrium Two holes opened, his bowels bursted, hurling faeces towards the herd Felt first, not heard, his shit was faster than sound Diarrhoea pounded my entire bovine face, God had marked me His timbral moo moans were an explosion to the eardrum Cringing my anus! A golden silhouette dripped down the bloody intestinal opening Tearing the attached womb tissue Just like the circumcision of my foreskin His innards came out his anus Oozing like the squeezing of meat into a chicken sausage The Golden Calf stood with horns erect and udders exposed And this was not the fake shit Golden Calf from the Bible That shit was lame! Nononononono, it was the real Golden Calf The real new Bovine Jesus, he's alive! He is alive! And this is what he said (Moo) Bovine Jesus has a plan and purpose for all bovines No matter cow or cattle, bison or buffalo Yak or ox, bongo or bubalus And he will deliver upon bovines at least three gifts Pastures of gold, paddocks of diamond And sweet, sweet flowing rivers of vanilla Pepsi Yes, Brother! Bovine Jesus has blessed you and me He's king of the moos And with the help of the holy trinity Of Bovine Jesus, Wonton Jesus, and some other guy The wretched scum of earth can be set free, oh yes, Brother! In the time before Bovine Jesus The cattle of the world relied on the teats Of their brethren for their supplies of milk White dairy from the white men and women Whilst the sweet chocolate milk was suckled directly From the BBCs of the world, the big black source Fellow bovines, I call upon you now! Surrender Yourself to the king of moos, to the udder brilliance Bow before his golden udder shower and repent for your sins! Bovine Jesus, I've been very naughty And I prostrate myself before you now I want you to enter my life Ohh, Your milk is washing me white as snow My sins have been forgiven in Your udder mercy Oh, Bovine Jesus, ooh! I wanna accept you into me, Bovine Jesus Make me one with you, oh Lord! Let me suckle for the milk, straight from the source The white teats and the BBC Enter my innermost being (Oh, Bovine Jesus, come closer) Let me feel the weight of Your udders Like the immense weight, you bear (Let me be closer to Your presence) Whenever you give birth to Yourself again (Touch my heart and make me moo) Bovine Jesus, be with me, be in me (Expose my flaws and woo) Wrap me up in Your leather (Ooh) Make me Your own personal wonton (Oh, God!) Bovine Jesus, I'm close (Clean my sins more, please!) I'm ascending to you, Father, Your cow majesty! (Bovine Jesus) Ah, Bovine Jesus! I submit myself to you (Ah!)
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Written by: Bovine Gang, Angeltouch Remove
Lyrics © DistroKid
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"Birth of Bovine Jesus Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Apr. 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/5782921/Bovine+Gang/Birth+of+Bovine+Jesus>.
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