I Stubbed My Toe

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Taintsmasher

4:33

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God damn fuckin stupid piece of shit
I stubbed my fuckin toe, swear to god I think I broke it
F*ck! I did it again
It hurt so bad I cried in front of my friends
Now everybody's laughing
Because I'm so clumsy and dumb
I need a ride to the hospital
What's that coffee table even made of
Seems like everywhere I turn
There's something in the way
This world is not made for me
It only brings me pain
Stove my fingers with a basketball
There's nowhere you're safe and comfortable
When you're big and tall
Booked an aisle seat to at least stretch out one leg
Ran over and slammed in the shoulder by a flight attendant
Counting the seconds until the landing gear touches down
Everyone expects me to grab their luggage now
Maybe I'm dramatic but
I think it's giving me sciatica
Hunched over for two thousand miles
Crammed in a seat designed for a child
Seems like everywhere I turn
There's something in the way
This world is not made for me
It only brings me pain
Fingers stuck inside a bowling ball
There's nowhere you're safe and comfortable
When you're big and tall
Smack my head on a doorway
All cars give me back pain
Can't stand up straight while I
Ride in the subway train
If my t-shirt shrinks it's
Now an 80s midriff
Dress shirts won't stay tucked in
It's hard to do deadlifts
Can't just go shoe shopping
They don't have my size feet
Everybody hates me
At concerts cuz they can't see
My maintenance is 3000 calories a day
So what the f*ck am I gonna do with a four ounce steak
Just give me the whole fuckin' pitcher of iced tea
Cuz I'm gonna drain this cup before you're even done writing
Stand up as careful as I can
Still slammed into the table with my lap
Spaghetti spilled all over my wife
Another date ruined by my stupid size
Everywhere
There's something in the way
This world's not made for me
It only brings me pain
There's nowhere I fit in
Nowhere comfortable
I'm a freak of nature
Because I am big and tall

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