defeat

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Saile

2:28

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I could keep the whole folder in the trash bin
That would save a couple seconds worth of stashing
Not even a flash in the pan, just another couple
Fruitless ruins of a burnt-out passion
Looking up to millionaires, playing stupid and contagious
Are you actually good, or are you just famous?
And is he who's neither anything to hold highly?
Am I a cynic who sees, or am I just whiny?

Some jealous teenager renegade
Wrapped up in his own thoughts, skull like cellophane
Stubbornly refusing the gravy train, praying for his takeoff
And way too young to relate this much to Aesop
I must've failed in like ten of my past lives
Baptized in dread of never getting past the landmines
Wired like a rabid magpie, no standby
Black belt master of the self-dimmed gaslight
Finds a way to beat himself up with his hands tied
Registered as failure if there ain't no landslide
Screen is still a clean slate, desk a fucking crash site
Might or might not've had a breakdown last night
(Might have)

'Cause the mix's all wrong
The drums not strong enough, but still too loud
F*ck this song
I sound just like a six-year-old
The f*ck's this voice?
Get out my throat
Before I rip it out

My flatline's prolly offkey
Wish they cared enough to hate, who listens when I scream "get off me"?
All I have is a button labeled self destruct
And a speedometer starting at thousand miles per hour
And counting up
Spear and the shield
Clash of the massive ego with no grasp of the real
And the wall of self-doubt, desperate to conceal
Whatever talent lost in a fight of idle and zeal

So I hide and I seek
Waste when I'm strong and try when I'm weak
Rinse and repeat
Can I catch a second to breathe?
I've barely started marching
And I'm planning out a retreat
Quiet defeat

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