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MC Paul Barman

Paul Nathaniel Barman (born October 30, 1974), better known by his stage name MC Paul Barman, is an American rapper. He resides in Manhattan, New York. In 2012, LA Weekly placed him at number 14 on the "Top 20 Whitest Musicians of All Time" list. more »

4:16

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eehh...Good morning...I mean good evening
Ladies & Gentlemen, I want to tell you about
an experience I had this morning at San Francisco:

You know, I'm staying at the hotel downtown and eh
I had two hours, two hours, 'til I was rendez-vouing with my, eh
my beautiful girlfriend's beautiful girlfriend
So I took a little walk outside the hotel, I walked up a street
With a name that's pretty familar to a lot of people, but not to me
But it had an old name and there was a marquee
It kinda looked like a movie marquee
Or maybe the the type of thing posted outside of a motel
or maybe even casino

But it wasn't any of those things
It was some kind of sign that belonged to an old gas station tire shop
And it was closed 'cause it was a Sunday
And it said: "Americans are slow to hostility" - Winston  Churchill
And I thought ISN'T THAT something
A big marquee with the Winston Churchill quote in the middle of San Francisco

And then I went to Walgreens to find my TOM'S OF MAINE ginger-mint 
FLUORIDE-FULL toothpaste, but all they had was FLUORIDE-FREE
And there was a women, at the counter, with a parrot, on her shoulder
And she said: "Yeah yeah, my parrot is 44 years old..."
And the people behind the counter at Walgreen's
and next to the register, chatted her up and they said:
"Ohh, we really like the way the red feathers are so deeply red!"
And I was like "Man, 44. NOW that's old for a parrot! Kinda old for a person!"
And the lady said, "Yeah, these types of parrots live to be into their 60's."
And I was like "Good for you," when I noticed a streaaam of parrot shit
crawling down the back of the owner's t-shirt
And I thought to myself: "Either no one noticed the parrot shit on her back
or more likely, she doesn't mind parrot shit on her back..."
And I was like: "Lady don't brush against me !"
"In fact, go home, don't buy anything at Walgreen's
Change your shirt, POTTY train your parrot, or don't go IN public!"

And then I remember how Americans are slow to hostility
and I thought: "Well maybe in a crazy town like this
you pay for the happy-Winston-Churchill-quote with the nasty parrot shit."

pfff

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