Rhymes Reason

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Ben Steezy

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I’ve been thinkin' back
To the reasons that I rap
All the stories that I have
All the pain that has passed
When I was a itty bitty lad
With a off-brand backpack from my dad
I would tap on the desk at school
Write poetry in the notepad
I would make the teacher so mad
Show up for me, no class
Ace all my tests, still pass
I was someone that they couldn't hold back
Then I met Vo and Izaak,
I sense I could be the sidekick
They were in 4th and 5th
I was in 3rd, slight nerd with oversized kicks
My clothes didn’t quite fit
Just your average white kid
Who’s trying to escape the pain of his legs
Cause his mom was high risk
One Friday after school, I was going to meet
Vo and Z who were b-boyin down at the B&GC
Z told me since you have bunk feet can’t buy a king crab
Or write graffiti
That leaves one thing, you need to learn to MC
Do you feel confident you could rap on the beat
See we’re hip-hop too and a crew needs 3
You just don’t look hip hop to me
But if you rap while we dance that’s something that we need
So you tell me, what’s it gonna be
It’s a need, it’s my nature
Seeing me, the callin' of my maker
This is raw, this is fate, this is flavor
When I spit feel it hit in your sacral
I’m grateful, I’m dignified
Reflectin back on my path I’m living my best life
Destiny or prophecy, I just know I’m blessed to be
Right where I’m supposed to be
I’ve been thinkin' back
To when we were skippin' class
Just to smoke weed and rap
Like it was the only thing we had
Back with the same backpack
All black more notepads and a hackey-sack
And a blunt wrap, cap with a fitted hat
Ditch that, just to make a mixtape on an iMac
Add a couple high hats, lemme try that
Beat by my homie Max, I could ride that
From NYC lemme see where your pride at
Hip-hop was born but where’d it die at
I could revive that, you know, give it life back
Wishin' I could do the same for Max
I was out in Cali when I heard he had passed
It’s the stories of our elders
It’s the trials of my peers
It’s the memories of my brothers and my sisters
Who aren’t here
And I wonder why, why I’m the one alive
I just reflect back, see that I’m living my best life
Is it fate or a dumb luck spree
I just know I’m blessed to be
Right where I’m supposed to be
I’ve been thinking back
To my homie Zack
Another friend who had passed
We used to kick it at his pad
He’d look at me and say, Yo, Steez, tell 'em how hard it is in these streets
Up in the PHX, we were just fiends
Poppin these scrips, party routine
If we would trip, probably Lucy
I got clean, Zack OD’d
Only difference between him and me
Still hear his voice when I rap on the beat
Hey homie I heard you
Amazed at what these words do
Cause you still a king, and it’s still vanilla curfew
Never had the will to hurt you
The closest in my circle
I took off, you died a month later
Man, that shit was hurtful
It had me puffin purple, drinkin' out of the bottle
Matter fact that was right before I hit my bottom
Went back to oxycontin, used to steal em from my mama
Got bounced to a halfway house just tryin' to solve the problem
I’m caught in a dilemma
Forgot not to remember
Before I went to prison I was caught inside a pit of
Confusion - isn’t that what hell is
Lemme tell you
It’s gotta be closer the devil’s gotta be jealous
Only gonna say this one time
I forgive you for everything I felt
Only gonna say this one time
I forgive myself

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