Hard to Swallow

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Ex Wife

4:48

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The truth will out - I had to tell her
Feel like a woman, just look like a fella
Need to find help to pick up the pieces
Put all the right bits in all the right places

Sat impatiently in the surgery, feeling like I need the loo 
Then it came across the tannoy: 'Russ Copsey, Room Two'
I walked straight in and told him, 'I wanna be a woman' 
He said, 'Sit down Mr Copsey, let's talk about it'
So I tell him the facts, the damascian truth
Him staring, head cocked, like I've something to prove
He gave it a name - the cure's irreversible, the implications profound
I want the lot - I'm in for a penny, I'm in for a pound
And I want it now...

You need to prove you're ready
You need to prove your worth
Got to get to know you better
And the nature of your urge
I can't wait around forever
Got to get this whole thing done
The faster this bit's over
The sooner comes the sun 

Some things in life - they must come out
They can't crush me - and my tomorrow 
It's something there - within me now
I can't control - the truth is hard to swallow

I want it and I want it now
This is hard to swallow

'A persistent desire to live as a female for two years or more'
'Dress as a woman for a year'... some quack giving me a score
How long do I have to wait? 45 years (!) and it's making me ill
I need to put things right now, turn this boy into a girl
Need a second opinion - yes, my employer's private health scheme
Of course they'll support me in living my dream
So I phoned up BUPA, but discovered to my horror
The company doesn't cover gender dysphoria
This is hard to swallow
 
You need to make your own way
You need to make her real
Got to get to know her better
And know just how you feel
I can't wait around forever
Got to get this whole thing done
The quicker this bit's over
The sooner comes the fun

Some things in life - they must come out
You can't crush me - and my tomorrow 
Something there - within me now
I can't control - the truth is hard to swallow

Fuelled by desire for all kinds of things
Long hair, camel toe, big boobs and smooth limbs
This is the truth of people and what's inside them
These feelings are real and you can't deny them
The cold, heartless inhuman leviathan
Silent judgement and hidden violence
Who are you to say what I can and can't do?
I'm part of the system but I'm free to choose
The clock is ticking, life's for living
It's the story of my life but there's pages missing
I'll find a way to stop feeling a failure
Board a plane and head to Albania

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