The Self-Help Guru (Who Couldn't Help Himself)

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The Barefoot Family Caravan

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Lost in these days where nobody know's there name
Caught up in the haze of fame and fortune

Well here there came a man to guide the way 
And like the rain his wisdom was a-pourin'

His goal to make the children 
That he raised burn inside just like a flame a-torchin'

He gets his praise, the people get their craze
But see he's not so big and brave, he's short, man

The man's alone with no place to call his home
No, no, no
His family's all dead and gone
He can't make friends, sees life through just one lenses
Too stubborn to ever be wrong

Don't have no girl, all trapped up in his world
Treats most women just like his pawns
He's waste of skin, burdened with all his sin
Living life as a big ol' con
Well, well now

The self-help guru who couldn't help himself 
A heretic preaching the gospel of wealth
Tends to put his problems up on the shelf
His clock done clicked at a half-past twelve 

Oh, no

Well, now 
Collecting green from his following
Just to pay for his extravagant needs
Another man who's been written into the plan of that all American greed

See, his disciples begin to get stifled as they realize that their teacher-man's a fraud
They start to heckle and turn like doctor Jeckle
Im the face of their make-shift God, oh

Well, now
A mob is born burdened with only scorn
Form the teacher-man who robbed them blind

It seems his pockets been lined with golden lockets from the flock
That he now calls his kind

They go to his home, where they know he's all alone
Hiding behind a big red door
Seems like the self-help guru can't really help
No, no, no
Himself, anymore

The self-help guru who couldn't help himself 
A heretic preaching the gospel fo wealth
Tends to put is problems up on the shelf
And his clock done clicked at a half-past twelve

Oh, no

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