I Walk Alone

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Alis Rowe

4:30

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I'm looking in the mirror, I'm looking unfamiliar
How did I get so different? The same person but a bit clearer
I was bitter, was the world dark or was it me?
Lost and nowhere to embark, just me out on the sea
I wait in at night for Change to come, like the Grim Reaper
Looking for a peacekeeper, sleeping, I was dreaming demons
I had no ambition, all my life was fiction, I was writhen
Prisoner of my own mind, trapped but no conviction
I know where you've been cuz I've been there before
You try to be a friend but can't build a rapport
Wondering where to go from here, looking for a mentor
You don't know what's in store, my memories are just like yours
I can see the tears in your eyes, the scars on your skin
But where you are now is truly where the stories begin 
Life is hard, I couldn't speak, I've cried but I uphold
I'm scarred too, now I'm a storyteller, my glory's gold

They say the city streets are paved with gold
And traveled by feet of a million beautiful souls
But, to me, it's so grey and cold
And so I chose to walk alone
I'll walk alone
And so I'll walk alone
I'll walk alone
I wonder how long I'll walk alone?

You wonder why you are like this, you are a deep questioner
Why are you so disliked, why couldn't you just be regular
Everyone made homes like they were walking in the park
While you were on your own each time that you were in the park
I was all alone, as I performed, I was disconnected
Inferior, neglected, so I turned introspective
Never knew what I had, never knew it had a name
I hoped it was a phase, every day I brought with me the pain
But it was grown all along, life was awry, I was wrong
Did so well at school, the cost was becoming so withdrawn
I was sad, I followed fads, I lied, I chose to be the same
I could change my clothes and dry my eyes, but could not change my name
Life was never normal though I lived a normal life
The figure envisioned in my mind always had normal times
I scripted the real me that I uncomfortably wanted to be but
That real me is the person nobody ever got to see

They say the city streets are paved with gold
And traveled by feet of a million beautiful souls
But, to me, it's so grey and cold
And so I chose to walk alone
I'll walk alone
And so I'll walk alone
I'll walk alone
I wonder how long I'll walk alone?

I've been authoring the story that depicted
How things ought to have been, but life is wicked
Didn't go how it was scripted
Not meant to be autistic, the adventure it got twisted
I admitted apocalyptic, and changed my distance
The hardest thing for me was to accept that I was different
Considering my development just left me quivering
Living was rigorous, everyone talked gibberish
Would have done anything to fit in, it was my preference
It took a long time, there were 5 stages to grieve
Mourning for the loss of the person I was supposed to be
The world is cruel, love is for those who talk and those who will
Introverts ignored, it hurts, cuz I own some close skills
I accept myself, this song's like a celebration
Proficiencies not wasted, yo this is my procession
I am sufficient, this story has a happy ending
It's unhappy pretending, cuz I am unrelenting

They say the city streets are paved with gold
And traveled by feet of a million beautiful souls
But, to me, it's so grey and cold
And so I chose to walk alone
I'll walk alone
And so I'll walk alone
I'll walk alone
I wonder how long I'll walk alone?

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