Stick in the Mud (Non-Explicit Swearjar Version)
When I die I want everybody to go for a drink And leave cos it's pricey and the music is s**t King Antisocial not born for the nightlife I'm slippers and pipe after dinner and wine with my wife And nobody else Here's some advice, I hope that it helps People are arseholes, I know I can tell Out on a Friday night, or at home by yourself But for me, I'd rather watch the British women swimming team Than sit in a pinkish limousine on my way to a flippin' "Cream" For a dance and a rave "Where'd you meet your missus?" I was dancing away But that was different, that was back in the day Now I'm older and I'm grumpy and I'm stuck in my ways "Dunt your missus like to danc" Stop interrupting me mate I'm trying to make a point about how it's rubbish to rave How it's rubbish to pay, a couple hundred for a Glass of summat you coulda made from your cupboard today Then you can shout at your mates over loud s**t songs And have a dance with your dignity... oh it's gone Shame for you, it's not a shame for me Not saving up to kill my liver for a daily fee But with each chosen night that I don't go to I Can't complain if I've got no social life Stick in the Mud, it is so good To never go out for a drink to a club Stick in the Mud, it is so good To never go out on the piss to a pub So I feel I've got no mates left I may as well up sticks and head stage left Jump on the M62 head straight west Get a bigger house, make a great nest But the reason I'm feeling there's nobody left I'm the antisocial one who's stubborn as heck And hasn't been out for a pint for a while Without a frown, or pout but a smile Ready to spout all types of denial About how I'm sound and my life int a pile Of steaming dog turd without seeming awkward Don't generally speak how you feel in Yorkshire Stiff upper lip with a zip But getting pissed quickly unzips Soon you're telling your mates missus she's s**t And isn't good enough for him, like you think she's a bitch Wake up the next day, brain in a messed state Wait, did I just say I hated my good mates lass? Didn't mean that Can I take it back? Damage kinda done Feelin like a t**t Cheers alcohol you're the best Now I'm in a whole other mess This is why I don't go for a Becks And just stay inside with smoke in my chest Feeling old and depressed Stick in the Mud, it is so good To never go out for a drink to a club Stick in the Mud, it is so good To never go out on the piss to a pub When you leave without saying "bye" it's called a "French Exit" When you put idiots in charge you get Brexit When you give lads booze you get sexists Is there a girl over 18 that hasn't been molested? By a guy, getting touchy and feely Trying to justify he was drunk, was he really? Or does every man just love to reveal he Is a mammal that requires rape just to feel he Passed, his sperm down the line The world is designed to further his climb To the top - adverts are so posed Hip-hop with endless reference to "those hoes" The idea a woman can look so-so And isn't worth your time and effort with those clothes Get the new "this" and please pay for "that" Face up facts, it's the makeup mask that'll make those lads undertake That age old task Find your inner Kate Moss that's Just what we all want Add personality... it's just as important But said that - just cos we all nod But deep down we lust for a jaw drop Or a heart throb, or a super model But you won't find love in your two McDonalds I'm not out doing battle on Tinder and stuff Perhaps if I hadn't bumped into my love And that's why our social life int up to much We're in, just a couple of sticks in the mud Stick in the Mud, it is so good To never go out for a drink to a club Stick in the Mud, it is so good To never go out on the piss to a pub
Written by: Ben Goodwin
Lyrics © DistroKid
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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