A Tale of Two Shoelaces
Good afternoon children And welcome back to Granddaddy Molly and his funky grandsons' bouncy castle Steakhouse, slash storytelling nook saloon Today, we got a special guest with us As a proud subsidiary of Papa Molly incorporated We got the CEO herself to come swing on by and tell you a tale Steppin' on the block, bouta take off on a stroll Working, living, breathing really takes its toll Was waiting at the red hand when I looked down and spotted That my lil shoelaces had got themselves unknotted No time; got the signal for the walking man Ten million things on my brain already tryna understand Took off on the street, laces trailing behind Passin' cars barely waiting, sittin' growlin' in their lines Then there was a dude; man course it was a dude He said, "Girl might wanna take a look down at your shoes" Muthafucka yes, bitch, I know It my own size 9 fuckin foot you hoe You think I'm a lil lady with her head up in the clouds No these streets are cold, our eyes look down Down at the shit and the needles on the street Bitch I suggest you keep your eyes to yourself before you catch Hep C Yes, please, step your pussy off of me Congratulations on checking off your morning good deed You saved my life, I could've tripped and fell Satan grabs me by the aglets and drags me down to hell Laces caught around a gutter, flattened by a falling rock Mama's wishing at my funeral I'd just worn crocs Thank God for our everyday heroes Man at 8 am drinking Coke fuckin zero He's got a heart of gold and eyes like a hawk And likes stopping random fuckers when they on the crosswalk 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5 But wait, gotta stop her cuz her shoe's untied Oh miss, ma'am, excuse me, but it looks like your shoe's, your shoe's Yes bitch I know What the f*ck I already know Use my laces to lasso you to Guangzhou Want me to drop right here and fucking stop traffic Is strangers tying shoes to you somehow pornographic Beep beepity-beep! Honk honkity-honk But y'all, my shoe's untied, I can't possibly walk Thanks to this kind stranger for letting me know 'Cuz I can't see past my own fuckin collarbone So I'm lookin up at him fuckin wanna just slaughta And he's lookin down at me like he's got the stigmata I hate this goddam muthafukin society Where doing fake-good deeds is somehow piety So here's how it ends, despite my desire to attack And no, y'all ain't gettin these past two minutes back Cuz this world is basic, this world is fake Gotta pretend like you're touched by a stranger's hot take And I know I'm a bitch, and I know it doesn't matter And the longer that I talk this only gets sadder But I am this extra, let the whole world know That there's no tiny little detail I won't stop and roast But I gotta move on, right? So at the end of the day I just around and I say, John drumroll please Oh hey, thanks
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"A Tale of Two Shoelaces Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 18 Sep. 2021. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/3569708/Papa+Molly>.