Wenn Haifische Waren Menschen
Uncle Soup, uncle Soup, uncle Soup, can you tell me a bedtime story please? F*ck that, I ain't Slick Rick Well, what would it be like if sharks were like humans? If sharks were like humans? Oh, wenn Haifische waren Menschen? If sharks were like mankind, they'd build big boxes in the ocean They'd put all the little fish inside, and to keep from causing commotion They'd stock it up with food and make sure there was fresh water The little fish would see this as good, like lambs lined up for the slaughter And if a little fishy got hurt, they'd be sure to bandage his fin Because as long as they prospered, none would think of revolution And to keep the fishies' spirits high, they'd have huge water festivities Because as no shark will deny, happy fishies taste better than sad fishies They would also build schools, so they could teach them geography That way those eager learning fools could memorize where all the sharks' jaws be They'd teach ethics and moral education, that the best most beautiful thing for a fish Is sacrificing their life for the shark nation, and never questioning any wish And the poor fish would follow for sure, told it's best for their future That their prosperity is only assured with complete obedience to their butcher They would tell the fish to watch each other, and report any signs of suspicion Any betrayal would be early discovered, accused of selfish, greedy Marxism If sharks were men, they would wage war, to conquer other fish boxes with their armies They'd teach silence so soldiers never question, "What for?", and to love to hate their enemies They'd say to prevent any dissent, that there were enormous differences That if they spoke it was impossible to understand other fishes with foreign languages And the best little fishy got some new pins if they killed a couple foreigners The title of Hero wherever they swim, an honor that is great and enormous They would have art is sharks were men, with shark's teeth in magnificent colors Jaws portrayed as plush gardens, pure splendors, pleasures, and wonders The theater at the bottom of the sea would show enthusiastic actors Swimming into jaws gracefully, accompanied by beautiful orchestras If sharks were men, there would be religion, which preaches proper life to be acquired By living strictly free of sin, dying in shark's stomachs when desired If sharks were men, equality could not exist, big fish would be treated better than small fish Promoted to higher positions and offices, satisfied bribed with unfair privileges The sharks wouldn't mind, they've still got the biggest portion To keep the smaller fish in line, the bigger fish would ensure the order Even shorter, if sharks were like men They would for the first time, bring this horrid culture to the ocean The end That's it? I don't get it... It's a good thing sharks aren't like men, huh? Huh, what do you mean?
Written by: Scott Erickson
Lyrics © DistroKid
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