A Very Big Whale

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Joseph Landau

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There was a very big whale, too large for a name 
Who sang, "I'm such a big whale" all throughout the day 
They tried calling him Paul; they tried calling him James 
"Those names are too scant!" The whale complained 
He splashed through the gulfs, the ponds and the lakes 
And sang, "who's ever seen a whale this great?" 
He flew through the air, whenever it rained 
He went here
And then there, and then back, again 

They tried calling him Nick; They tried calling him Dave 
"I'm a very big whale!" The whale explained 
The whale was warned, and the warnings were grave 
The warnings were told for many a days 
"Whale beware! All nouns do have names 
And if you don't get one, you may start to shrink!" 
But whales are smart, and whales can think 
The whale responded without even 
A whale blink 

"That's unscientific, it doesn't sound sane 
And surely I'd know, with my big whale brain" 
"Just look in a mirror, you're hardly the same 
You grow smaller, and smaller, and smaller each day!" 
But a haughtier whale, never was known 
"Smaller!" he scoffed. "Why, I think I've just grown!" 
"How about Bob, how about Joe?" 
"Perhaps an apt choice, for my big whale toe" 

And so, off he went, just as he pleased 
Singing a long, wha-le melodies 
Until all that was heared was dum-dum da dee 
Dum-dum da dee, dum-dum da dee 
La da da-dee, la da da-dee 

And then not was heard, not even a peep 

But see him again, one day they did 
Our very large friend had become paper-thin 
His girth, was no girthier than even a pin 
Not even an inch stood his dorsal fin 

And last time the whale went out for a swim 
Not even a ripple was caused by him 
He cried, yes he cried, he cried and he cried and he cried 
"Bet you've never seen a whale so slim!

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