Horace's Aborted Rip-Off Scheme


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A wigwam or wickiup is a domed room dwelling used by certain Native American tribes. The term wickiup is generally used to label these kinds of dwellings in American Southwest and West. Wigwam is usually applied to these structures in the American Northeast. The use of these terms by non-Native Americans is somewhat arbitrary and can refer to many distinct types of Native American structures regardless of location or cultural group. The wigwam is not to be confused with the Native Plains tipi which has a very different construction, structure, and use. more »


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An operator by the name of Horace 
made a deal with Jake'n Boris 
'bout how the flop-house that they ran just had to go 
so they planned to have an accident 
pick up the thirty-three per-cent 
and retire somewhere out of the snow. 
They'd figured that the bigger the policy 
the better so sent a letter 
to the company in the know, 
under-estimating the endurance 
of the insurance-agents from outa town 
who'd get their man and throw 'em in clink 

for the great insurance shake-down rip-off 
the faked-up take-all slip-off scheme. 

They thought they'd have a fire 
so endeavoured to aquire 
the utensils necessary for the show 
bought blow-lamps, pumps and matches 
fire-lighter sticks in batches 
and retired to the woods with all in tow. 
They'd calculated that the smaller 
the fuss they made the all-the-more 
chance they had of pulling off the stunt 
understimatin' the endurance 
of the insurance agents from outa town 
who always liked their money up-front 
for stopping 

the great insurance shake down rip-off 
the faked-up take-all slip-off scheme 

Thought they'd take a dreamboat journey 
to Malasia or Easter Island 
teach those natives something useful 
diggin' holes with style and status 

The scheme wasn't perfect 
but it didn't seem-to bad 

It had a good chance of working 
and it was the best one they had. 

The great Insurance shake-down rip-off 
the staked-out make-off baked-up chip-off 
the faked up take-all slip-off scheme. 

But the night before the accident 
Horace had a premonition of the condition 
he'd be in after an arrest 
Boris would double-cross him 
make off with the dough and toss him 
into a pit of crocodiles and foul-pest aargh! 
And he'd be chained down in a cell 
up the hall-way from hell 
and be a subject to crudities to a strainend degree 
and the investore they would stone him 
and that Jake, he would 'phone him 
and inform him that it wouldn't work anyway 
forget it 

the Great Insurance shake-down rip-off
the baked-up make-off break-off slip-off scheme.

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