When I Lose You
I found out what happens when I lose you When the trail goes cold And I can't find my own way home So I camp out Hoping to break in This cave This giant hole in the foundation of a mountain I used to have the faith to move When I lose you I'm left with No match to light the fire No strength to build the pyre Ego explodes And we slowly realize we cannot carry life on our shoulders Refuse to wait And the weight is crushing Rushing rapids of distraction carry my ship built for one Into a river bed that provides no sleep These sheets on which I used to rest Become the rags I use to blot the stain To numb the pain It's all the same Medicating symptoms Not the sickness in my brain and my heart And my soul And my spirit Can't you hear it? My entire being is a minefield of mistakes planted by my own worst enemy Me & you We had a good thing going In meeting we exchanged our everything Broken wings for the very thing I now sit without Walking aimless through streets of doubt I run in circles of self sufficiency And these city lights will never be bright enough to lead me from my own darkness Marked with discarding the one thing that really matters I'm singing the praises of American Idols That no one will remember or care about in the end Like an anti-Icarus I flew away from the son But somehow still managed to get burned Learn to resent Those who turn to repent Assessing their motives or authenticity Like judge and jury was somehow written on my name plate instead of totally lost Utterly frustrated And maybe even a little bitter I shiver with quiver in hand Believing that if I follow this trail of ink it will somehow lead me back to you Because articulating brokenness is the first step to healing Or at least I hope it is Because how many times have I bandaged the cracks in my identity With syllables that soak up emotion Trying so desperately to stop the bleeding And if this poem proves to be placebo Then maybe i've wasted my time Hoping for restoration in a rhyme When I lose you Then I accuse you Of not being there Or not being real Or not being what I want or expect you to be When I lose you I hope you find me
Written by: Jon Jorgenson
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