The Eighth Wonder
I was in the green wood trick-or-treating I came upon some Wiccan chicks meeting They gave me candy It tasted dandy But I found the bliss to be too fleeting They said, 'well, Sheela you can savor If you feel you're man enough to brave her In yonder hollow She's poised to swallow You merely need to sign this waiver" I was oh, so excited I was dancing a reel and a jig-ee As I sped down the trail On my way to nail Sheela na Gig-ee Now the wee ones find me most appealing I've had young Pygmy women squealing Had midgets moaning Some gnome girl groaning A Lilliputian priestess kneeling And though it's size the guys are flaunting My little apple's never left Eve wanting As for her daughters I've snaked their waters Some say their garden I'm still haunting As a rule, chicks could make A right satisfying meal of my fig-ee (Make a meal of his figgy) Well, the insatiable exception Was the Sheila called Sheela na Gig-ee I made my way up to her altar I prayed my fella wouldn't falter I asked for blessing Began caressing She anointed me with oyster dressing And then the walls closed in around me Her mammoth lips, they up and downed me She stripped me naked Said, 'hey, let's make it You'll never find a place more sacred" I thought I'd seen most every wonder I never thought to look for one down under And goodness gracious Her place was spacious Her expectations most fallacious I was in about as deep as one can get That's when she asked me, 'is it in yet?" I couldn't jive her We didn't jibe Her Volvo was just too big for my driver When my raised mast sailed past their islands The Sirens observed a moment of silence My dinghy one fifth The stuff of Greek myth Their lips were sealed like virgin hymens But when Odysseus made the same trip And those same birds eyed his massive flagship They sang some shanties They shed their panties They tempted him with their steamed clam dip Sure, and he was the first To get Circe to squeal like a piggy (Yeah, she squealed like a piggy) But even his girth proved worthless When he tried to pork Sheela na Gig-ee After sex with the Goddess You might feel like a ciggie But you'd best watch your ash If you're still inside Sheela na Gig-ee
Written by: Robert Steven Reiser, Scott Henry Fray
Lyrics © ST MUSIC LLC, Songtrust Ave
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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"The Eighth Wonder Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 20 Feb. 2020. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/1583117/Pan+Galactic+>.