The Shipping Forecast (feat. The warm wet westerly winds.)

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Gruntyers

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Bailey.
Dogger.
Wight.
German bight.
Southwest severe gale 9.
Rain, then squally showers.
Poor.
Pinstriped puffins shut the door.
Lundy.
Bailey.
Irish sea.
Cromarty.
Variable 2-4, becoming westerly 5-7 later.
Wintry showers.
Poor.
Gingham sharks patrol the shore.
Faeroes.
Fair Isle.
Forth and Tyne.
Northwesterly 3-5, becoming variable 2-4, then cyclonic, mainly southwesterly 5-7 later.
Rain and wintry showers.
Poor.
Denim cormorants know the score.
Forties.
Fisher.
Fastnet.
Sole.
Westerly 4-6, increasing 6 to gale 8.
Rain.
Poor.
Hark the tartan sea eagles roar.
North Utsire.
South Utsire.
Viking.
Thames.
West or South west 5 increasing to gale 8 at times.
Occasional rain in Thames.
Poor.
Shhh… the satin herring snore.
Humber.
Hebrides.
Southeast Iceland.
Northerly 7 to Violent storm 11.
Rain.
Good, becoming very poor.
Beware, the woolen seahorses of Thor.
Fastnet.
Fitzroy.
Biscay.
Rockall.
Southwest 3 or 5.
Occasional rain.
Moderate or poor.
From afar the tweed godwits soar.
Dover.
Humber.
Trafalgar.
Malin.
Northwesterly Variable 2-4, becoming cyclonic 6 to gale 8 perhaps storm 10 later in Dover.
Wintry showers.
Poor.
Pas op! The Flemish fleece megalosaur.
Portland.
Plymouth.
Shannon.
Biscay.
Southwest 1, occasionally 2.
Good.
Towelling redshanks in the hood.

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