Keep Bleeding

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Irv Da Phenom

Mitchell Irving Jr., better known by his stage name Irv Da Phenom is an American rapper and singer from Kansas City, Kansas. He is a fellow collaborator with other local artist Tech N9NE, Kutt Calhoun and Krizz Kaliko. He is signed with Def Metal Gospel and commonly affiliated with Strange Music and Funk Volume. more »

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I’ve given so much love and umm, recently I’ve realized I’ve never loved myself and that’s a wound that’s been bleeding for a long time.

Girl I love say she can’t really love me til I open up
Turns out you just like the others looking for a throat to cut
I’m bleeding.
I let you in now I keep bleeding out
Handed you the knife the day I dropped my guard and opened up
This the reason I don’t ever let nobody know too much
I’m bleeding
I let you in and I keep bleeding out.

I’m in these blue paper scrubs in the mental unit because of the thoughts that I have been having after seeing that white truck at your house while you kept telling me you still deeply in love.
And how you would never hurt me these just thoughts I’m making up and how I was crazy, when I was really feeling crazy PTSD got me triggered and that’s the time you pick to play me told me you wanna help. I’m drowning in depression. I never thought that you would use my traumas as a weapon. So that night you was really trying to kill me. You’d rather gaslight me to death than keep it real and that shit filthy, we could’ve been gone our separate ways and healed by now, instead I’m looking like I’m real mentally Ill right now. On Facebook crying like I ain’t never had no couth, with a couple of screws lose because you refused to tell the truth and though I knew, I just hoped I could hear it come straight from you so I could love you past your flaws and maybe one day see this through. Beyond pathetic but love can only kill me if I let it and I signed up for this ride when I left discernment neglected now it feels terminal, hectic, chaotic, and I’m obsessing over every time that something felt funny and I ain't check it nah it couldn’t be, because I prayed for God to send me you. Just need to love a little harder and God will see us through. Just need to be more patient like in Corinthians and love keeps no record of wrongs, so I forgive again, again and again, again and again, again and again, I f***in picked a fuckin narcissist again , again and again, again and again, again and again,  fell in love with a fuckin narcissist again

Girl I love say she can’t really love me til I open up
Turns out you just like the others looking for a throat to cut
I’m bleeding.
I let you in now I keep bleeding out
Handed you the knife the day I dropped my guard and opened up
This the reason I don’t ever let nobody know too much
I’m bleeding
I let you in and I keep bleeding out.

Now I finally know what goes around comes back around because you my karma for that rose that I exposed to so much trauma pain and drama I was in and out of court legal war with my baby mama and after every court date, she would take me for drinks and tapas. I was so ungrateful and I hate to admit it but I did it screamed on her the same way you always do me different reasons, but it hurts the same it feels like God sent me you so I can feel her pain for the way that it drains the damage she sustained. I left a stain on her brain that probably still remains and I apologize she got the worst me you got my best but you took advantage and hurt me even though you sat next to me and them church seats you’re just a devil in a black onyx skirt please Lord, tell me that my karma even now, after all she put me through gotta be evened out. can’t even love no more because I can’t find the trust to do it looked like a power couple. Now I’m looking fu**ing stupid we used to paint the town now I’m in the house hold up reclusive I had the scissors months ago but didn’t have the guts to do it. I should’ve cut you off I should’ve took my loss why cheat instead of break up? It breaks my fu**ing heart. The bond I thought we built I never fathomed us apart. Can’t even bring my heart to hate you that’s the toughest part. Wish you would’ve let me know that this whole thing was just for likes. I was really really in love really planning a life. Wish you would’ve let me know that this whole thing was just for hype. Really really thought it was us, really thought you a wife.

Girl I love say she can’t really love me til I open up
Turns out you just like the others looking for a throat to cut
I’m bleeding.
I let you in now I keep bleeding out
Handed you the knife the day I dropped my guard and opened up
This the reason I don’t ever let nobody know too much
I’m bleeding
I let you in and I keep bleeding out.

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