Fembot in a Wet T-Shirt
Frank Zappa
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After a few weeks on the bus Being porked by Toad-O's road crew And being too exhausted to do their Laundry on a regular basis MARY is dumped in Miami with no money (and no other famous rock groups due into the Area for at least three weeks) She tries to pick up a few bucks by Entering the Wet T-Shirt contest At The Brasserie Looks to me like something funny Is going on around here People laughin' 'n dancin' 'n payin' Entirely too much for their beer And they all think they are clean outta-site And they're ready to party cause The sign outside says it's wet T-Shirt Nite And they all crave some hot delight Well the girls are excited Because in a minute they're gonna get wet And the boys are delighted Because all the titties will get 'em upset And they all think they're reety-alright And they're ready to boogie cause The sign outside says it's wet T-Shirt Nite 'N they all crave some pink delight When the water gets on 'em Their ninnies get rigid 'N look pretty bold It's a common reaction that Makes an attraction whenever it's cold An' all of the fellas they Wish they could bite On the cute little nuggets The local girls are showin' off tonight You know I think it serves 'em right You know I think it serves 'em right You know I think it serves 'em right You know I think it serves 'em right And it's Wet T-Shirt Time again! I know you want someone to show you some tit! Big ones! Wet ones! Big wet ones! At this point, FATHER RILEY (who had been recently de-frocked for Not meeting his quota And has grown his hair out And bought a groovy sport Coot and moved to Miami and changed his name To BUDDY JONES) steps onto the Crowded bandstand in his Exciting new role as a Wet t-shirt contest emcee Ah, thanks, Ike Yes, it's Wet T-Shirt Time again Here at The Brasserie Home of the tit's huh huh And it's the charming Mary from Canoga Park Up next in her bid for the semi-finals Hi, Mary how'ya doin'? (Having been fucked senseless by the Boys in the crew MARY does not recognize the former Religious personage from her Nights in the rectory basement during Which she acquired her Basic manual skills confounded by His sport coat, she replies) Hi! (Realizing that she no longer recognizes him Or even appreciates the patient Religious training he had given her In the past, BUDDY JONES, like A true WET T-SHIRT EMCEE type person Proceeds to say various stupid Things to waste time, making the Contest it'self take longer Thereby giving the mongoloids squatting on The dance floor an opportunity To buy more exciting beverages Liquid products that will Expand their consciousnesses to the point Whereby they might more Fully enjoy the ambiance of Miami By Night) Where ya from? Ah, the bus Which one? You know the last tour You know leather oh, you were the girl that Was stuck to seat 38 on Phydeaux I I I Why don't you get in position now And take a deep breath Because this water is very, very cold But it's goin' to be so stimulating And Mary's the kind Of red-blooded American girl Who'll do anything anything I said anything for fifty bucks That's right! I really need the fifty bucks you know I gotta get home! Yeah, I know Your father is waiting for you In the tool shed That's right, you heard right Our big prize tonight is Fifty American dollars to the girl with the Most exciting mammalian protruberances! Here I am! As viewed through a thoroughly soaked Stupid looking white sort of Male person's conservative Kind of middle-of-the-road Cotton undergarment! Whoopee! And here comes the water! Ah! No, you'd squeak more if the water got on you Sounds like you just got an Ice pick in the forehead And here comes the ice pick in the forehead! Oooh, ha ha a million laughs, Mary! Anyway good golly, what a mess She's totally soaked totally- I love it Yeah, totally committed to the fifty bucks That's it just step into the spotlight Let the guys get a good look at ya, honey! Here I am! Whaddya say, fellas? Nice setta jugs? Now Mary How's about shakin' it around a little? O-o-o oh! Oh my goodness, look at her go! Oooh! I'm dancing! Ain't this what living is really all about? Here's your fifty bucks, Mary Oh great! Now I can go home! Oooh! Home is where the heart is on the bus!
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Written by: Frank Zappa
Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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"Fembot in a Wet T-Shirt Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/10771853/Frank+Zappa/Fembot+in+a+Wet+T-Shirt>.
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