coffee + tylenol

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Zoe Durno

3:15

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Coffee and Tylenol on the side table
White pills don't taste so good not even for a headache
But I
Can't taste the feeling anymore
The movie don't make sense tonight
the sixth time that I've tried
I know it makes you happy to watch the things you like
But sometimes
I think the colours get too bright
And sometimes
I don't know what to do
And sometimes
I don't want to feel it through
So I'll break my promise
This is not how I wanted to be
Coffee and Tylenol on the kitchen table
This time I really couldn't see how harmful it was able to be
Oh god, why can't I see
And sometimes
I don't know what to do
And sometimes
I don't want to feel it through
Jordan, you know those like, carpet cleaning videos?
Yeah. I could watch them for hours
You watch them for hours?
I need someone to do that to like
My brain
I think it would solve all my problems
Like just get
Really deep on in there
Ok, that sounds about right
But like, If I could get someone to do that to my brain
It could get rid of every bad memory I've ever had
And maybe it will get rid of my mental illness
You think that would help?
I need someone to rip out my spine and put it in the dishwasher
You want somebody to rip your spine out and wash it in the dishwasher?
Ok, well
Many months away and it's just coffee on the table
I try to keep my promise even when shit gets harder to feel
I'm thankful that you're here
And sometimes
I don't know what to do
And sometimes
I don't want to feel it through
I won't break my promise
This is not how I wanted to be

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