Act 1. Turn It Off

I got a feeling That you could be feeling A whole lot better then you feel today You say you got a problem Well that's no problem It's super easy not to feel that way When you start to get confused Because of thoughts in your head Don't feel those feelings Hold them in instead Turn it off, like a light switch Just go click It's a cool little Mormon trick We do it all the time When you're feeling certain feels That just don't feel right Treat those pesky feelings like a reading light And turn 'em off Like a light switch, just go "bap" Really, whats so hard about that? Turn it off Turn it off When I was young my dad Would treat my mom real bad Every time the Utah Jazz would lose He'd start a-drinking And I'd start a-thinking How am I gonna keep my mom from getting abused? I'd see her all scared and my soul was dying My dad would say to me, "Now, don't you dare start crying" Turn it off Like a light switch Just go flick It's our nifty little Mormon trick Turn it off Turn It Off My sister was a dancer, but she got cancer The doctor said she still had two months more I thought she had time, so I got in line For the new iPhone at the Apple Store She lay there dying with my father and mother Her very last words were "Where is my brother?" Turn it off Yeah Bid those sad feelings adieu The fear I might get cancer too When I was in fifth grade I had a friend, Steve Blade (ooh, Steve Blade) He and I were close as two friends could be (we could be close) One thing led to another And soon I would discover (wow) I was having really strange feelings for Steve I thought about us, on a deserted island (we're all alone) We'd swim naked in the sea And then he'd try and Woah, turn it off Like a light switch There it's gone (good for you) My hetero side just won I'm all better now Boys should be with girls That's heavenly father's plan So if you ever feel you'd rather be with a man Turn it off Well, Elder McKinley, I think it's okay that you're having gay thoughts Just so long as you never act upon them No, 'cause then you're just keeping it down Like a dimmer switch on low (on low) Thinking nobody needs to know (uh oh) But that's not true Being gay is bad But lying is worse So just realize you have a curable curse And turn it off (turn it off) Turn it off Turn it off Turn it off Now, how do you feel? The same Then you've only got yourself to blame You didn't pretend hard enough Imagine that your brain is made of tiny boxes And find the box that's gay and crush it Okay? No, no, I'm not having gay thoughts Alright, it worked Yay Turn it off, turn it off Turn it off, turn it off Turn it off, turn it off Like a light switch just go click (click click) What a cool little Mormon trick (trick trick) We do it all the time When you're feeling certain feelings That just don't seem right (don't seem right) Treat those pesky feelings like a reading light (a reading light) Turn it off (like a light switch on a cord) Now he isn't gay anymore Turn it, turn it, turn it, turn it Turn it, turn it, turn it, turn it Turn it Turn it off