Natalie's Rap
by The Lonely Island

interviewer: we're sitting here with film star natalie portman
natalie: hello
i: so natalie, what's a day in the life of natalie portman like?
n: do you really want to know?
i: please, tell us

i don't sleep motherfucker off that yak and that durban
doin 120 gettin head while i'm swervin
(damn natalie you a crazy chick
yo shut the fuck up and suck my dick
i bust in dudes mouth like gushers motherfucker
roll up on nbc and smack the shit out of jeff zucker

(what you want natalie?)
to drink and fight!
(what you need natalie?)
to fuck all night!

dont touch me when i'm crazy off that airplane glue
put my foot down your throat til your shit's in my shoe
leave you screamin, pay for my dry cleanin
fuck your man, it's my name that hes screamin

i: im sorry natalie, are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?
n: i never said i was a role model
i: but what about the kids that look up to you, do you have a message for them

all the kids lookin up to me can suck my dick
it's portman motherfucker
drink til i'm sick
slit your throat
and pour nitrous down the hole
watch you laugh and cry
while i laugh you die
and all the dudes, you know im talkin to you
(we love you natalie)
i want to fuck you too
is for portman!
is for pussy!
i'll kill your fuckin dog for fun so don't push me

i: wow, natalie, i'm surprised all this from a harvard graduate
n: well theres a lot you may not know about me
i: really, uh, such as?

when i was in harvard i smoked weed everyday
i cheated every test and snorted all the yay
i got a def posse, you got a bunch of dudes
i'll sit right down on your face and take a shit!

natalie you are a badass bitch (hell yeah!)
and i always pay for your dry cleanin
when my shit gets in your shoe (what!!!)
and as for the drug use, well i can vouch for that
my dick is scared of you, ohhhhhh

i: okeedoke, natalie, one final question,
if you could steal a smooch from any guy in hollywood, who would i-


n: no more questions

Lyrics submitted by Leandra.