No Big Bang

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Priests

A priest is a religious leader authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion, especially as a mediatory agent between humans and one or more deities. They also have the authority or power to administer religious rites; in particular, rites of sacrifice to, and propitiation of, a deity or deities. Their office or position is the 'priesthood', a term which also may apply to such persons collectively. A priest may have the duty to hear confessions periodically, give marriage counseling, provide prenuptial counseling, give spiritual direction, teach catechism, or visit those confined indoors, such as the sick in hospitals and nursing homes. more »

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I once had a conversation with someone
He talked to me of those twilight hours
Those times when your mind is on fire
Those times when you can't sleep because the creative 
And analytical possibilities before you are endless
He said those are the times he wants to write
I understood him but I was also flabbergasted
I couldn't comprehend his unabashed enthusiasm
It was as if he didn't know the other side of that
The other side I find to be so intrinsically attached 
To those moments when your mind becomes a rocket

No words
No big bang
No big bang
No big bang
No
Big
Bang

I get the exhilaration but when you look down and 
See the sheer stupidity of the roller coaster just 
Staring you in the face as blank and inescapable as the slab of concrete below
Just waiting to catch you, to crush you, your falling body, your skull
All of the sudden all of the science and evolution and progress
I mean sure, it looks good from a distance but when 
You're really inside of it you realize it's fucking terrifying
The inexorable pull of "progress," when your mind keeps 
Running along the same narrow tract of logic for what feels
Like forever and the developments are horrible and gruesome 
And haunting and you mind won't stop and they're there
And you can't unseen them
How could one not be scared of that?

No crash
No big bang
No big bang
No big bang
No
Big
Bang

Oh, I know those times
Those times when your mind is a rocket propelling you 
Through space so fast but it can flip all at once
Suddenly I realize the rocket is just a prison
A small contained space with no real food
No companionship, no time passing, no gravity
Just the weight of my own insignificance, my foolishness
And my hubris thrust into the glaring light that is the sun 
But much much closer than it was before, and all I want is to die
Not so much die as be undone, to go back and undo it all
Make all of me as if it never happened in the first place

No birth
No big bang
No big bang
No big bang
No
Big
Bang

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